I shall do my best to remove the images evoked by the words “75-year-old nudist” from my mind and focus on what’s truly important here, but please excuse any shuddering induced typos in the following text.
I have never been to a nude beach and have no plans to partake in such activities in the future. This is best for all concerned, believe me. But were I ever to change my mind, you can also trust me when I say that I would never, at any point, decide that playing a few numbers on the old pipe organ in appreciation of the scenery is an even remotely appropriate thing to do during my visit. This has everything to do with morality and common sense, but yes, knowing that I might also get shot to death by an elderly naked fellow for doing so does help as well.
A 75-year-0ld nudist is in custody after allegedly killing a 46-year-old man on a nudist beach at a lake near Lyon, France, over the weekend, according to French press reports. The victim had reportedly fondled his erection while deliberately staring at a female nudist when an argument broke out between the men.
The shooter then took his registered hunting pistol from his beach bag and shot the younger man, police say.
Onlookers reported that the victim—who was not apparently a regular on the nudist beach—had been a nuisance earlier in the morning when he masturbated into the water in front of sunbathers. Witnesses instead said the shooter was a long-time naturist who often discouraged bad behavior on the beach.
Police have accused the shooter (hmmm…should perhaps be more specific here) the man with the gun (this is harder than I thought…dammit, that came out wrong) the one who is still alive (that’ll do it) of deliberate homicide.
Ok, I think I’ve made it. Pretty sure I even fixed all the typos. But I could use a good, stiff drink now. No! Not stiff! Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!