User demanded a ‘wireless’ computer and was outraged when its battery died
This reminds me of a good friend of ours. He loves the idea of new technology, but he has no idea how to use any of it, god bless him.
Years ago, when Aftershokz came out with wireless headphones, he excitedly bought a pair. He was so happy! … For a day or two.
But then, as tends to happen when he buys something new, we got a phone call.
“My headset stopped working. I don’t know why.”
Carin, realizing she should probably start with the simplest possible explanation, asked the simplest possible question.
“How long has it been since you charged it?”
“CHARGE IT! CHARGE IT!!!!! I have to charge it?”
“Yes,” she explained, fighting some pretty intense laughter.”
“But it’s supposed to be wireless!”
She then went on to give the speech about how wireless means no wires between the headphones and whatever you’re plugging them into, but that the headphones still have a battery in them that’s going to need to be charged, which is what the cord in the box is for.
He was so disappointed.
“I thought that was a microphone or something that I could plug into the computer if I wanted to,” he lamented. “I can’t believe I have to charge these. They were supposed to be convenient!”
I don’t know if he still uses them, but at least we’ve gotten his money’s worth out of that story.
“THIS ****ING LAPTOP DOESN’T WORK! YOU GAVE ME A PIECE OF ****!”
Cathy politely asked for an explanation of the problem.
“I WAS WORKING AND IT JUST ****ING SHUT OFF” came the shouted reply.
Cathy went into troubleshooting mode, and ran down a list of questions that started with a request to recount any error messages the machine had displayed and ended with a query about whether the user had seated the power cord snugly in its socket.
“WHAT POWER CORD?” came the bellicose reply.
Cathy explained that she’d tucked the laptop’s power supply into the nice bag.
She then heard the unmistakable sounds of Velcro, unfurling cables, and a plug meeting a socket.
“It’s back,” the user said.
Cathy realized what had happened and tried to be polite about it by suggesting the user had perhaps struggled to find the battery life indicator on her new machine.
“YOU SAID THIS ****ING THING WAS WIRELESS!” came the obtuse reply.
“Yes,” Cathy replied drily. “It has wireless networking. Did you think it had a nuclear battery or something? It needs to be recharged just like your last laptop.”
After a brief pause, the user thanked Cathy and hung up.
Hahahaha that poor guy. At least most of his tech questions are simple. Except when he gets viruses that inexplicably make his computer play jungle drums. Or when he gets creative and tries to edit the registry.
Oh god I remember that, but I don’t remember why he did it. What problem was he trying to fix there? Was it another virus?
I think it was. He thought it was affecting his MSN Messenger, and he was scrolling through the registry, and he thought it said “away” as in away status. What he was really deleting was something called “ole” Ya know, sound drivers? Which are important if you need speech.