A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. He carries his trusty 22-gauge rifle with him. After a while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots …
Category Archives: jokes
Because It’s Friday, Have A Big Batch Of Jokes!
*Q: What are the two biggest lies in Poland? A: The cheque is in your mouth and I won’t come in the mail. *I just had a bowl of maize. It took me an hour to get my spoon out. *A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor, crawled painfully onto a …
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Bucking Bronco Machines And X-ray Glasses
*Two friends were hanging out in a Western bar. One decided to try the Bucking Bronco machine. He managed to hang on for 10 minutes. His buddy was impressed. “Wow!” he exclaimed, “That was sure something!” “It was easy,” his friend said modestly. “I get lots of practice. My wife’s an epileptic.” *Billy Bob goes …
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Tapeworm
A man had been feeling sick for several days. Finally he decided to try a new doctor who had just moved into town. After hearing the man’s symptoms and listening to his belly with a stethoscope the doctor told him that he had a tapeworm. “Oh, that sounds bad. How can I get rid of …
The Wino And The Spittoon
Anybody who remembers the days of the most disgusting joke contest will probably appreciate this one. A wino walks into a bar one day and starts begging for drinks. One of the patrons tells him he’ll buy the old sot a drink, but first he has to take a drink from the spittoon over in …
The CIA Is Hiring
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists — 2 men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you …
A Few Quick Ones
*Q: What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? A: Drowning. *Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an altar boy. *Q. Why do women call it PMS? A. Mad Cow Disease was taken. *Q. What’s the definition of a mixed feeling? A. Watching your …
The Swearing Pianist
I could have sworn I posted this one years ago, but the site search and Carin’s memory say I’m wrong, so here it is now. Completely useless trivia note: I’m pretty sure this is the first joke I ever saw on the internet that made me laugh out loud. This bloke walks into the poshest …
Salt And Pepper Diner
Somebody posted this on Twitter for some reason, I laughed at it, and now I’m sharing it with you. It’s one of those things I can imagine our friend Greg and I doing. John Mulaney – Salt and Pepper Diner
Some More Random Jokes
*”Heather, I bought you a plane for Christmas,” Paul McCartney told his wife. “How sweet,” Heather replied. “But I’ll still need a Lady Norelco for the other leg.” *”Hey, go easy on those fucking candies!” –A Jewish pedophile after luring a young boy into his car. *A man goes into a pet store and asks …