A tourist arrived in Australia, hired a car and set off for the outback. On his way he saw a bloke having sex with a sheep. Deeply horrified, he pulled up at the nearest pub and ordered a straight Scotch. Just as he was about to throw it back, he saw a bloke with one …
Category Archives: jokes
One Screen, Two Screen, Dead Screen, Blue Screen
This must be internet day or something. I got this in the email a couple of days ago but didn’t feel like putting it up. Now I do. Dr. Seuss – WHY DOES MY COMPUTER CRASH? If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a …
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Summary of My Last Year On The Computer
In the same email as the last one, Jen sent me this one too. It made me chuckle, so up it went. Summary of My Last Year on The Computer I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a …
Only Man On The Island
Perry fancied himself quite a ladies man, so when his cruise ship went down in a storm and he found himself stranded on a desert island with six women, he couldn’t believe his good fortune. They quickly agreed that each woman would have one night a week with the only man. Perry threw himself into …
Stay Off The Drugs
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court late on a Friday afternoon. “You seem like nice young men,” the judge said, “and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show …
Origins Of The Internet
Ann Adams sent this to me, and it made me chuckle. Origins of the Internet… In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and …
In Entertainment News…
Michael Jackson has just announced his dates for the UK tour. They are Joe aged 5, Bob aged 4, Dave aged 5, Colin aged 6 and Andy aged 4.
Divorce
A Farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” Farmer: “Yeah, I want one those dayvorce’s.” Attorney: “Well do you have any grounds?” Farmer: “Yea, I got about 140 acres.” Attorney: “No you don’t understand, do you have a case?” Farmer: “No I don’t …
Getting Lost
A young man graduated with a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper that hired him was to write a human interest story. Being from the back woods, he decided to go out to the country to do his research. After some time, he happened upon an old hillbilly from way up in …
That Reminds Me…
I’m a bit late on this one, butCarin’s post about the old guy driving the wrong way down the interstate for 40 milesreminded me of a joke I heard years ago. An old man is driving down the interstate one day when his cellphone rings. His wife says “Honey, be careful. I just heard on …