Tenants Roasting On An Open Fire

Last Updated on: 26th September 2013, 12:48 pm

Well it’s certainly been an interesting night here in the land of Steve, and for all the wrong reasons.

It’s about 10 PM and my girlfriend and I are just doing our normal nightly stuff. We’re on our computers checking our email, that sort of thing. We eventually migrate out to the living room to watch the news and just sort of wind down the day. The main topic of our conversation keeps drifting back to the assholes in our building who it seemed were for some unknown reason painting their place at such a stupid time of night and how much it was going to suck to have to sleep in paint fume heaven. As we talk, the smell gets stronger and stronger, and starts to smell less and less like paint. Curious to be sure, but I’m not thinking much of it up to now. Then the fire alarms go off and we’re suddenly evacuating the building. It seems that one of the bottom floor apartments somehow caught fire and everybody has to get the fuck out of the place like right now, no waiting! I can’t even begin to describe to you on how many levels this completely and profoundly sucks. First of all, according to the handy dandy temperature thingie on my computer, it is exactly -21.6 degrees celcius outside right now. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it pretty much boils down to it’s fucking cold and now I’ve gotta stand in it for an as yet undetermined amount of time and possibly catch frost bite and lose a limb or 2. But more than that, it sucks because well, the fucking building’s on fire! You know, the building with my house in it. My house, pretty much everything I own, you know, all the stuff that defines who I am.

Things actually turned out pretty well though, all things considered. The fire didn’t end up being as serious as it could have been thanks to somebody’s quick thinking in calling the fire department right away. It was contained to 1 apartment and we only had to be outside for about an hour and a half or so. The city even eventually came around with a nice warm city bus for all of us to sit in. We were all able to get back in before midnight which was nice since I had visions of having to sleep on the bus or at some place that they’d have to open up for all the new homeless people. The sucky thing now is that the whole building smells like a big camp fire and I have this ungodly craving for a hotdog.

More later, assuming I still have a house by then.

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