I don’t know why I’m wasting everybody’s time writing this, but it just felt like it had to be written. I feel like a complete wimp. I also feel a bit selfish, when people have more important things to think about, like oh, say, who’s going to be our new Prime Minister, and here I am babbling about this. I don’t know why this even makes me sad, but it does.
I’m looking through the pile of mail that I brought in from my mailbox, and my my, do I ever have a lot of junkmail. Amid the campaign crap, ads for a burglar alarm, mastercard applications and other complete garb, I get to an envelope that reads, “Humaine Society.” I open it, and what is inside is a reminder to renew my dog’s tags because it’s that time…and it makes me feel sad all over again.
For those who don’t know, this year, I got a guide dog, and then promptly had to retire her due to illness. When it happened, although it hurt like hell to send her back, I didn’t think I’d be hit too hard by losing her. After all, I’d only had her for 7 weeks. Then I realized how much a part of my life she’d become.
At first, it was hard to walk anywhere without feeling sad. Then it got easier and I thought I was done. Then the questions about “where is your dog?”/”what happened to your dog?” etc. were hard to answer, but then they got easier to take. Then came the dreams. Every night, I’d dream that she was with me and we were walking somewhere. Then I’d dream about random details about her. Those have finally stopped, and I thought I was done. Why, then, does an innocent letter reminding me to get new tags feel like the saddest piece of mail to receive ever?
Now do you understand why I feel like an overly emotional nitwit?