How to Date Someone Who’s Sober Without Making It a Thing
Another person’s sobriety isn’t about you, so don’t turn it into a big deal.
I’m not sure if I’m weird or if the rest of the world is, but I find it extremely odd that we need articles like this one.
I enjoy drinking. I’m sipping on a beer right now, matter of fact. But I also know plenty of people who don’t drink ever if at all. That doesn’t cause me to enjoy those people any less, generally speaking. If you’re going to get preachy or nutty about it then that may change things, but besides that, it really isn’t that hard to adjust.
I haven’t had to worry about dating in a hundred years give or take, but honestly, any new social situation I’ve ever found myself dropped into involves essentially the same set of skills. If you’re any good at carrying a conversation and reading a room, you should be fine. Either order yourself something or don’t. Who cares? It’s not as though ordering a Coke or a water now and then is going to kill you. The do you want a drink conversation should last no longer than “do you want a drink?” and perhaps an “Are you sure?” depending on the context. Anything beyond that is too much unless it drifts into a getting to know more about someone moment.
Yes, drinking with other people can be fun, not to mention a good way to loosen up and get to know somebody. But if someone else not having a drink bends you that far out of shape, you have bigger things to worry about than is this person going to like me.
I feel similarly about trends like Dry January. If you find yourself needing a way to force yourself into not drinking for a set period, it’s time for you to do some self-reflecting and maybe ask yourself a few difficult questions. Ditto if you’re curious about what it’s like to be sober. No matter how much of a drinker you are, that should never be a concept you lose sight of.
If that’s where your mind is at, I hope that you can get yourself whatever help you need. If it’s not relaxing or fun, then maybe it’s not for you. And that’s ok. It’s ok just like your companion not drinking is ok.