Ads? Make Sense? Na! Never!

Last Updated on: 11th September 2021, 08:53 pm

Man. I need to just tune out advertising. I should have a long time ago. But now it’s just getting ridiculous. It’s like a bunch of people just threw some words on a dart board and made their commercial slogans from whichever words got nailed.

Let’s take a commercial that I was half paying attention to. These are its exact words. “How do you know if food is good? Simple! It’s blue!”

Uh, has anyone eaten blue food? And survived? You tell me if it’s good. I found out that it was the President’s Choice Blue Menu, but when you’re not really paying attention, you just wanna hurl! Make that into a radio ad, and you’d be dooming your product. You think they wouldn’t do that? I remember a certain commercial for a cold medication that, on the TV, consisted of a violin song and some words on the screen spelled the way they would sound if you had a cold. So, the ad geniuses just took the violin song and threw it on the radio. Great ad campaigne.

Here’s another one that makes my head spin in complete confusion. “Lay’s. Get your smile on.” Get your smile on? It’s a bag of chips. Ya eat ’em, you’re done. I keep getting visions of either this deranged chip-lover eating a ton of chips with this maniacal grin on his face, or the advertisers didn’t think “get your gut on” was a good slogan. Come on, Lay’s, get over yourselves.

And here’s more of a trend in ads rather than a specific ad that bugs me. I’ve seen a lot of junk food ads that try and make you feel better about eating whatever fat-laiden pile of whatever they’re selling. “Now you can eat twice as much because we’ve cut the fat in half!” And then you will have bought twice as much and be just where ya were before we cut the fat in half, and with less money, you bunch of gluttonous pigs you, ha ha ha ha ha. Seriously, we wonder why we have a big obesity problem. We must have one if a big selling point on a food is, “Now you can eat more of it!”

All I can think when I see where advertising is going is, wow, it is true that our collective IQ is going down. Soon, the ads will consist of a bunch of teletubbies running around going goo goo ga ga, followed by the company’s logo. And it’ll work!

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