Lesley Burgess, prosecuting, told the court Lee chased one bird before picking up a smaller gull – and was caught on CCTV looking at his phone while holding the bird between his legs and masturbating.
Once he had finished, he pulled up his pants and gave the bird a “little kick”, the court heard.
Lee was arrested at a nearby takeaway and told police he picked up the gull because he thought it was hurt and was looking on his phone to find out what he should do.
But instead of searching for a vet’s phone number, as he claimed to have done, police checks revealed Lee had actually been looking at porn sites, the court was told.
He admitted to causing unnecessary suffering to an animal and was to be sentenced once a psychiatric report was completed.
I know Joe Bowen doesn’t call Spitfires games, but come on! It was right there! It’s part of the reason I’ve wanted to write about this.
I heard about this in January and thought it was cute, but because life is what it is, here we are talking about it in April. I still think it’s cute…and hopefully the couple does too.
I’ve seen lots of different kinds of weddings. I have been at the usual weddings at churches, and weddings at City Hall. During COVID, I attended Zoom weddings and weddings streamed over Whatsapp. There are backyard weddings and weddings at hotels, and I’ve heard of weddings on boats and destination weddings. But I’ve never heard of a wedding at the intermission of a hockey game!
I guess Sheldon Cadotte and Daylene Trudell have been hockey fans for a long time, and more recently became Spitfires fans. He proposed to her at a game after they were invited up to play human bowling during the intermission last year, and she said yes. They must have seemed pretty special to the team, because they reached out to the couple and asked them if they wanted to get married at a Spitfires game. They did it, and here we are.
I can’t imagine how weird it would be for them to go back to hockey games knowing that’s where they got married. But I hope it makes all the games a little bit special for them.
Stupid aside time, does anyone else think that if you say WFCU like it was a word with vowels, it sounds like you’re swearing? “WFCU Centre!” No? Just Steve and I? Alright then.
Man, I knew the geese were vicious as heck. I had heard lots of stories about geese attacking folks for their croissants near the University of Waterloo campus, and children getting chased by geese outside the Catalyst building where I work, among other stories. I know in the case of the children, their parents started chasing the geese, which probably didn’t help. Look at that. Geese are trying to protect their babies, and so are the humans, and the humans should know better than to chase the geese!
Then it happened to me last year. My incident was on the milder side, but who knows what could have happened if I wasn’t saved by a passing car. Domino and I were walking home from the Ion train and I heard this intermittent hissing sound. I could have sworn it sounded far away. I was sure someone was just spraying something with a hose or something. Then a car pulled up beside me and someone said “Ma’am, there are geese behind you!” Like a dumbass, I pulled closer to one side, as if they would pass me and go on their merry way. I pulled toward the grass! What if I just stomped their baby? Yeah, pulling over sounds like a great idea, chief. Then the driver said “They’re gone now.” But if that car didn’t do that, I may have been the next victim, and I would have found out just how ineffective Pooca Poocking at geese would have been.
I never noticed this pattern, but the time when they are the most aggressive is in April when they are nesting. There’s a month there where they won’t take any crap from us humans, and don’t mind telling us so with a hiss and a lunge and a peck peck peck! And this did happen to me last April, so I guess that fits.
Now someone has decided to do something to help us coexist with the geese. Anirudh Dabas, a first-year computer science student at the University of Waterloo, built WaddleLoo, an interactive map to tell us where the geese are nesting, and help us avoid them.
How it works is people take pictures of geese they see, and AI looks at them to see if they look like they’re protecting any babies or eggs, and judges their posture for aggressiveness. Then they get categorized on levels of risk, and if it sees a nest there, it gets pinned on the map. Then people can enter their start and endpoints of a route to class, for example, and their level of comfort with geese, and WaddleLoo will set them a route that should keep them safe. That’s kind of neat!
I guess the developer of this app was dive-bombed by a goose, and it scared him so much that he wanted to help others. I just love his level of exuberance about his invention. There’s something infectious about it. Just watch this video!
I hope he never loses that excitement. And I also find it adorable every time he says something like “When you see a geese.” I do not want to make fun of him. It’s just that our language needs to be made fun of. Just ask Brian Regan.
Singular: goose! Plural: Geese! Sure. That makes a lot of sense.
And now I have the unanswerable questions, or at least partially unanswerable. As a blind person, I would like to avoid the geese I can’t see. How accessible is this map thing to a screen reader? It says it’s based off of Google Maps. So does it do turn by turn directions that I can read in a step by step fashion? Or is it just an array of arrows and pictures? That question can be answered.
Here’s the unanswerable part, and worse, I don’t know if there is a solution. Some routes are safer for me to navigate because there are landmarks I can follow. A perfect example is when I’m walking to the Fairway station. There is the route everybody who can see loves, which involves sprinting like cute little squirrels through the parking lot. It’s shorter, and will arrive at the train platform, but it’s open, and there are no clues to tell me if I am veering or not. Then there’s the longer way I travel which involves running through these little pedestrian islands. It takes longer, but it’s safer for me. Does WaddleLoo direct the user as the crow flies? Would it direct me through buildings that I might not be familiar with? In an attempt to save me from going on a wild goose chase, is the map going to send me on a different wild goose chase? I suppose if I got to read the step by step directions, I could make decisions about how I could travel this route or if it’s even possible. But if it’s all pictures, I’d be toast.
Even if I personally can’t use it, I do think it’s a really cool idea and I hope he has all the success in the world. I also hope he can get some funding so he’s not having to check the app every few hours for troll images all by himself for too long. I admire his dedication, but I don’t want the poor guy to burn out!
If you’re going to spend your night out doing classic criminal things like driving with a license you don’t have while wearing borrowed pants and mysteriously meth-filled socks, for the love of god man, don’t stop at the imaginary stop sign! This goes double if the police are already in the area.
Police located methamphetamine and crack on a man driving with a suspended license and vehicle registration.
Cameron Ernest Belle, 62, of Williamsport allegedly stopped at the intersection of Elmira Street and Hawthorne Avenue on April 12 in front of Williamsport police officers. The intersection doesn’t have a stop sign for the direction Belle was traveling, police said. They also knew he had a suspended license, according to the affidavit.
Officer Andrew Stevens was on patrol and caught up to Belle near the 300 block of Hawthorne. Belle allegedly slurred his words and had bloodshot eyes and droopy eyelids, according to Stevens.
Belle showed signs of impairment during a sobriety test, Stevens said. Officers located a half ounce of methamphetamine in his sock and a baggie of crack on Belle. They also found a crack pipe in one of his pants pockets.
Refusing to take responsibility, Belle told Stevens the pants weren’t his and he was unsure how the methamphetamine got into his sock, according to the report.
We don’t get good train stories very often anymore, but here’s one. It’s obviously not good for everyone, but you know.
A pensioner was killed in a freak accident when he was struck by a flying cow launched 100ft into the air by an express train.
Shivdayal Sharma, 82, was reportedly urinating next to a train track in the region of Alwar, India, when the incident occurred on April 19.
It’s thought the animal was hit by the Vande Bharat express train before landing on Mr Sharma.
Another man in the area narrowly escaped being caught by the flying animal carcass.
Predictably, there are calls for tighter regulations and safety standards in the area. Perhaps not quite as predictably, the main goal appears to be controlling the number of cows shambling around out there. Hanging a leak on the tracks though? Just fine, apparently.
Members of the school board, I’m here to voice my outrage about a disgusting book I found in my child’s backpack. The book contained graphic violence, prostitution, sodomy, and perhaps worst of all, a woke agenda that promotes loving your neighbor instead of passing laws to control their access to healthcare. I’m talking, of course, about the Holy Bible.
Ever since the school started promoting Bible study, it’s been nonstop questions from our nine-year-old. “Daddy, what’s a harlot?” “Daddy, what’s ‘spilling your seed’?” “Daddy, in order to repopulate the earth after the flood, wouldn’t Noah’s family have to commit at least cousin-level incest?”
When my wife and I confronted the principal about the inappropriate content our children are being exposed to, she replied, “The Bible is a completely age-appropriate book that we are required to teach by the state of Texas under penalty of law, and our teachers definitely enjoy explaining to students why it is a sin to covet your neighbor’s wife and/or ass.”
Toddler news: Mom has her own mom, and her name is Grandma
I remember how mind blowing it was for me when I started figuring this stuff out, and ever since I’ve always had fun watching the other kids in my life put it together. This is pretty much exactly how it goes, other than the part where it all only needs to be explained once.
Bunny Hop Preschool – In shocking news to toddlers everywhere, it has been discovered that Mommy has her own mommy, and you’ll never guess who it is. Grandma!
It may seem hard to believe, because Mommy doesn’t even live with Grandma, but it’s true. Studies show that Mommy used to be a kid (just like you!) and Grandma took care of her. Back then, Mommy wasn’t even called Mommy. Grandma was called Mommy, and Mommy had a totally different name: Jennifer.
Studies also show that Mommy doesn’t like it when you call her Jennifer.
Don’t get me wrong, you should never, ever do this. But counterpoint, what kind of bum ass, bush league supermarket closes the goddamn meat department while the rest of the store is still open? That’s some bullshit is what that is.
Court documents show that officers responded to the scene and ordered Gay to get out of his truck so they could arrest him. After he was taken into custody, an officer removed a loaded semi-automatic pistol with a bullet in the chamber from Gay’s hip holster.
In an interview, Gay said he went to Price Cutter to buy steaks. He told the “good man” who was helping him that they needed to weigh the steaks. However, the meat department was closed. Gay said at that point, he showed his gun “Just to say I’m not stealing. I need you here to help me to get a couple of these steaks. I’m not going to hurt you.”
The officer asked Gay why he thought the people in the store called police and told them he was threatening them with his gun.
“I don’t know,” Gay said in the interview. “I have no idea.”
Not surprisingly, the “good man” who was helping him had a different take on the situation.
According to him, when he informed Larry Gene Gay, 70, that he was neither allowed to bag his own merch nor be in the meat department at all and that there would be no assistance for him on this day, Gay introduced him to his friend. That friend was either the gun or a vocal coach, because there was suddenly a different tune being sung.
“Once he held the gun to my throat — pushed it into my throat — I decided to comply,” the “good man” told police.
Gay was charged with unlawful use of a weapon and armed criminal action, both felonies.
