How was Everyone’s Holiday?

Last Updated on: 25th February 2014, 05:48 pm

So, how was everyone’s holiday? Did the weather suck everywhere? I heard yesterday it was haling in Kingston and snowing in Toronto! *puke* Not what I wanted to hear! That is not supposed to be the weather on the May long weekend!

My holiday was pretty boring, but I liked it that way. After running around chasing down the people who have the power to give us this awesome apartment, being a phone zombie as I called it, it was nice to just dick around doing nothing, and I guess that’s what a lot of people would have ended up doing with this crappy weather. So since Steve is being cute and making this awesome chicken pasta, I thought I should try and be useful somehow, so I thought I’d bullshit on here for a minute.

God I hate waiting for answers. Like I said, they’ll let us know if we get into the big miracle building by Tuesday or Wednesday. I know it’s only a day or two that I have to wait, but I find the worst day of waiting is the one where an answer cannot possibly come, like on a holiday Monday, like this one. You would think that would be the easiest day. But for some reason, I’ve been ancy all day, and I’m sure I’ve driven Steve nuts by repeatedly saying, “God I hate the agony of waiting!” and things like that. My head says, shut up, there’s nothing to do, just chill. But that doesn’t stop my feet from pacing. Yep, I’m a lune. But tomorrow, we could have the news. Ah the suspense is killing me.

I saw a commercial today that made me feel like a supreme loser. All it took was the first sentence. It went something like this: “Nothing is more frightening than starting a second career at 30.” Second career at 30? Um, I’m 27 and I don’t even have my first one! God what have I let slip by? I’ve worked at a few jobs, but nothing you’d call a career by any means. God you’d hardly call them a job! I was a camp counselor, I was a U of G phone droan twice for short stints, I was a computer tester for a couple months, I was a peer helper, a very small job, for about a year and that was while I was going to school and I didn’t even get 500 bucks for it. What does that say? I sure don’t have my first career, let alone my second one.

And, while I’m on the subject of weird TV commercials, have you ever thought that the chick in the pet meds commercial seems way too keen about ordering her pet’s medications? Do you ever wonder if she’s taking some herself? Or maybe that’s just my screwed up head

I’m really starting to realize I didn’t learn those things I was supposed to learn as a kid. The reason? I was a stubborn little brat and refused to learn when people tried to teach me. Now I realize how much I missed out on.

It started very early. They tried to teach me to swim as a kid. But I refused to put my face in the water. Guess who didn’t graduate from swimming lessons and had to take them again at age 26 and can’t seem to get it as well as I probably would have if I’d just stuck my face in the water at age 4?

Then there was crafts. I hated the way glue felt. So I’d do anything to get out of gluing things. So, you can guess how many arts and crafts things I did. Not too many. I didn’t give a shit. Now, when I hang out with the kids at the shelter and they feel like doing crafts, I feel like a total fucktard.

Then there was sewing and knitting. I would sew things because they told me I had to do that for class. But I didn’t pay attention. Now I can’t even so much as sew a button. I didn’t even try and knit because I thought knitting was for grannies. Now I wish I at least knew something about it. I know, I know, I can learn. I’m sure I can make up for it. I just feel like I’m a very slow learner.

I don’t want to whine anymore. What else can I blabber about? Damn that pasta smells good. What is it with me today? I’ve been craving cheesecakes and all kinds of other desserts. What the hell? Even stupid things like that disgusting milkshake song is making me try and figure out how I can get a chocolate milkshake from somewhere. I’ve been thinking about ice cream at that cool place. All I need is another sunny day and some time and damn I’ll be in there.

It seems desserts aren’t the only thing I’ve been obsessed with lately. I had this weird dream the other day that the dude from the guide dog school I want to go to came up to do the interview thingy they do. During the interview, he put a dog in a harness and let me walk through the rest of the interview with it guiding me instead of doing the cane thing or the Juneau thing where he’s holding the other end of the harness and you give him commands, so it looks really weird. Anyway, at the end of the interview, he just left the dog with me! At first, I was like, “He’ll be back for the dog.” But after a while, I started to wonder if this was my guide dog.

So I started walking around with it, feeding it, relieving it, all that. But I wasn’t trained at that school. So I was trying to remember every command that I’d heard people from that school use with their dogs. But somehow, things were going really well with this dog. It didn’t try to eat anything, sniff anything, do anything silly. I thought, “Wow, those dogs are well-trained!”

Then I started to notice that the dog didn’t really seem to care about me. It didn’t get excited, it didn’t come over to see me, nothing. So I started to ask around, and someone told me that this wasn’t a dog at all. It was a robot dog, and it was all a trick to see how long it would take for me to figure that out. And then it ended. How weird is that?

I guess it’s as weird as the way this post is going to end. Hope you’ve enjoyed my holiday ramblings.

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