Confirmed: Stephen Harper Really Is A Wooden Prick

If you’ve ever said to yourself “boy, I sure would love to own a wooden penis painted up to look like Stephen Harper,” well…today’s your lucky day. Ok, it’s your lucky day if you have money to spend and the time to out bid anyone else who may have ever said that.

The Calgary Sexual Health Centre is auctioning off a collection of hand-decorated wooden phalli – “Woodies” – painted by local and national celebrities as part of fundraising efforts for their 40th anniversary celebration.

Included in the collection is a creation painted by CBC star and satirist Rick Mercer.

Named “Lil’ Steve,” the dildo features a bespectacled Harper in a white shirt and blue tie. Atop his, ahem, head, is painted his trademark helmet-like, grey coif.

Around the base is a Conservative Party of Canada sticker that reads “For Display Purposes Only,” lest anyone (God forbid) decide to actually take the toy for a test drive.

I had planned to include a photo to go along with that most lovely description, but for reasons unknown, the web browser has other ideas. If you click the above link though, you’ll be able to see it in all its…glory?

At the time that story was written, the price was up to $260 with 17 people having bid on it. There’s over a week left in the auction, so there’s still plenty of time for you to head on over and slip your bid in, so to speak.

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