Do You Know What I’m Talking About? You May Not, But You Can Always Ask Some Guy And Hope He Does

Without a hint of hyperbole, I just heard the worst radio commercial I have ever encountered in my 42 plus years of life on this planet. It’s so bad that, I shit you not, I’m honestly not even sure what it’s for. I’m fairly certain that it’s advertising some kind of drug or medical device based on the lines “your doctor does” and “ask your doctor”, but what that drug/equipment might be called, how I’m supposed to spell its name or what it allegedly does are complete mysteries.

It went something along the lines of “Do you know what “Contrabe is? You may not, but your doctor does. Ask if “Contrabe” is right for you.” Then it tells me to go to a website to learn about support, benefits and coverage, but again does not tell me once and for all what the purpose of any of this is aside from bothering my doctor with strange, vague questions that I don’t even know why I’m asking her.

Perhaps you’re wondering why I keep putting “Contrabe” in quotes. That’s because, as I have mentioned several times, I have no clue what its real name is. I can only go by what the voice in the ad said. To me, it sounded like “Contrabe.” But if you thought you heard “Contrafe”, “Contrade” or “Contrate”, I’m not going to argue with you. Your odds of being right are just as good as mine. Putting “Contrabe” into Google corrected it to “Contrave”, a medicine designed to help with weight loss. That’s probably right then, but how do we know for sure? The commercial is completely useless when it comes to things like information or clues, so we’re pretty well left to our own devices to decide if it truly is pills we’re supposed to be after.

Mobile Klinik and ZipRecruiter, while both not good in their own ways, at least tell me what I’m looking for so I’ll know what it is when I do manage to find it. This…this is shit. And whomever is responsible for creating this ad, you’re kind of shit too, I’m afraid. Please do better.

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