Is That A Truck?

I AM BLOCKING TRAFFIC WITH MY TRUCK TO SEND A MESSAGE: I HAVE A TRUCK
This was written during America’s dumb truck convoys, but if you take away the self-awareness at the end, it would fit perfectly into what happened in Ottawa a couple months ago. Just a bunch of goobers doin’ stuff at the behest of some really awful people. Some of ’em know it, some of ’em don’t. But they all have trucks. And hey, that’s something. Onward! Honkity honk honk government bad! Yay trucks!

I have decided to drive very slowly in my truck. I may even put my truck in park, right here in the middle of the road. I am going to cause a traffic jam with my truck. Why am I blocking traffic with my truck? I am blocking traffic with my truck to send a message, and that message is this: I have a truck.

I used to have some other messages—they all involved the government capitulating to my demands. But the government already mostly capitulated, without my ever having to make demands. So now I am sitting in standstill traffic that I am actively causing with my truck because I want to say one thing loud and clear: I have a truck.
I may be alone inside my truck, but I am not alone on the road I am blocking with my truck. Some of my friends and coworkers are doing the same thing with their own trucks. They are also driving slowly in their trucks, because they have a message too. We all have a message we are sending with our trucks, and our collective message is this: we all have trucks.
We have other collective messages we are sending with our trucks. But those messages vary in subject and scope, and many no longer apply to the current situation of our country. So we are focused on slowly driving our trucks to send the one message we all agree on: we each have a truck.

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