The thing I’m most curious about here probably isn’t what most of you would consider the obvious one. We’ll get to that. But what I really want to know is why buddy here needed three birthday cakes. Were they all for him? How big was that party? Or does he just happen to have a couple of friends with the same birthday? And why didn’t the other cakes have faces on them? Wouldn’t you want your face on all of them if you’re supposed to be the man of the hour? And if they’re not all for the same party, what makes him so special?
Actually, scratch that last one, because he is most definitely special. So special, in fact, that he didn’t have the good sense not to shoplift the cake with his face on it from the people who would absolutely have a picture of him.
Police say Jackson entered the store and picked up three cakes he had ordered at the bakery counter. He then went through the store, selected four canned goods, two candles, a small cupcake and a box of chips.
Once at self-checkout, Jackson paid $12.99 for some of the items he purchased, but left the store without paying for the remaining items, including the cakes. The total loss to the store was $90.40, police claim.
Witnesses told police that the person who ordered the cakes was the same person pictured in a photo printed on one of them. Police used that photo along with surveillance footage of the alleged incident to identify Jackson as the suspect.
I was going to point out that he didn’t grab enough candles for all that cake, but then I discovered that one of his prior retail theft convictions came as a result of stealing scented candles, so chances are he had enough lying around the house.