Today’s lesson: Never rob a bakery. If their security cameras get a clear shot of your face, it might just wind up baked onto cookies that are then sold to the public. Soon enough, you will be recognized, arrested and eaten. A Milwaukee man faces charges for allegedly burglarizing a bakery on the city’s south …
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
Welcome To The 90s, And To Insta-Cart
I don’t know what my favourite part of this video is. The deconstruction of the name “Insta-Cart”, the realization of where babies come from, the delivery windows that sounded a lot like what happened when Carin and I tried to use modern Instacart for the first time last year, the terms and conditions, the fees, …
Can You Help Me With My Bone? Uh…I Mean Can I Help You With Your Phone?
I’m not excusing anything that Juan Esteban Ramirez may have done and I don’t want to go full victim blamer (it’s your right to have naked photos of yourself in your own possession without fear of some creep pilfering them for personal gratification), but why are we handing over our phones to some fella at …
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Congratulations On The Purchase Of Your New Oven. And A 1, And A 2…
In no world would I ever claim to be as talented as Elton John, but watching him make a song out of some guy’s oven manual reminded me of singing the words out of one of Carin’s university textbooks while one of our friends played along on his guitar. Fun times. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oio83_iHIwg
I Demand A Vaccination! One To Protect Us From People Like Kenneth Copeland!
If you need more Kenneth Copeland screaming at COVID set to music in your life, here he is as a short piano tune. Works pretty well.
Alexa, Send The Time Machine To 1988
Wow, 80s Alexa has come along way since the last time we checked in on her. This Amazon thing might make a few bucks one day. I feel like I’ve said this before with these videos, but that electronic voice is hideous. Yes, I’m aware that this is intentional. It just sticks out to me …
Bullet With Butterfly Wings Remixed Into Something Straight Out Of The 1980s
It doesn’t take much to make me laugh. Sometimes all you’ve got to do is replace all of the regular music from “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” with some ridiculous 80s sounding thing and you’re all done. I didn’t even need the visuals, which sound like they’re rather fun. The Muppet-like animals playing along, the animated …
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All My Favorite Songs
Just heard this song for the first time and I can already tell it’s going to be stuck in my head for like a month, so figured I might as well put you all in the same boat. It’s a very simple song, but I like those. And the lyrics sound a bit like me …
Yes. Please Don’t Do That
I think anyone who pays attention knew this was coming, but in the last couple days it was made official that when the rest of Ontario goes into the next step of the Ford government’s we’re getting back to normal really for real this time swear to god plan next week, Waterloo Region isn’t coming …
Old Person Does Sad, Old Person Thing
Fully immunized woman dies from COVID-19 in Kitchener long-term care home This headline, as well as some of the handling of the story itself, are kind of garbage. I’ll explain why in a second, but before I say anything else I want to make it clear that every COVID linked death matters and I’m in …