Wha-aa-aa-aa-aat?

I can’t speak. I can barely write. All I can do is babble. Shocks? After a prank call? 77 of them to one person and 29 to another? The students wear the shock devices on their arms, legs and torso all the time? They can be set off by remote? Other calls have led them to put kids in four-point restraints? The government has tried to close this place and failed? But the Judge Rotenberg Educational Centre dares to call itself that, and is still open? Is it staffed by people with mental handicaps too? You read this and see if you’re capable of speech afterward.

Scammer ID

Wow. This is just weird. Apparently, some scammers have started phoning and emailing people pretending to be Regions Bank. They ask them to call this other number and give out their credit card number, expiry date and other info. But what’s the weirdest part is when the scammer phones, people’s caller ID’s have been popping up the words “this is a scam,” and the people who provide the caller ID databases can’t seem to explain why that’s happening, or at least that’s how I understand it. Maybe someone can straighten me out.

Here’s the point where I go on my old tyrade. If you get a call from a number asking you to give personal data, don’t give it like an obedient little sheep. Google is a wonderful tool, as is your bank. If the call you receive asking for data is automated, hang up on it and google the number if you have a caller ID. If you don’t have caller ID, call your bank and ask if they need you to renew information, or go visit your local branch. If there’s an actual human on the other end of the phone asking for info, say you don’t give personal data over the phone and let the human have a nice meeting with the dial tone. If you don’t google the number or ask your bank, just go with your gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is, and you’ll be a lot better off if you just don’t respond. If the bank really wants to get a hold of you, they will send you a letter in the mail, or you’ll find your credit card has been frozen until you give them what they need, or something. The bank doesn’t just go away. These scammers will give up.

I have to admit the people perpetrating this scam are persistent. Not only do they have the person’s phone number, but their email address, which makes me wonder how much data they’ve stolen already. I could see some people thinking “well, the bank does have both my phone and email address, it must be real.” So I could see a lot of people falling for this one. All I know is if you have caller ID, and your caller ID says “this is a scam,” and you still call it and give out the data, you’ve just crossed over the victim/retard bridge, never to return.

Ho Ho Hope I haven’t Been Ho HO Hosed Again

Well, it looks like, if this is the truth, I’m going to have to swallow my rage at the removal of the words “ho ho ho” from Australian Santas’ repertoire. It appears that wasn’t even close to the truth, or so the folks who trainSantas in Australia claim. They say they only told them to use “ha ha ha” if the kid was spooked by ho ho ho and it had nothing to do with slang terms for prostitutes.

Hopefully I’m not wrong again, but this one came from snopes, who seem to do their ho ho homework. I can see both scenarios, and I really don’t know which one is the truth. I’ll just put this version up, and only time will tell.

>Try And Dig Yourself Out Of This One

>Wow, this Minneapolis cop should run off with this Orlando cop to the island of assholes so they can never be seen again. When you’re a police officer, and there’s a bus full of old women stuck in a snowbank, you don’t a. refuse to help and b. give a lady who’s going to shovel them out herself using a police shovel a citation!

Luckily, higher-ups apologized profusely and made things right, but what a prick. It’s guys llike that who give good cops a bad name.

Who Needs Taste When You’ve Got Dirty Slogans On Your Kids’ Panties?

This next story about panties definitely beats the Chinese takeout panties from years gone by. I’m really wishing Steve had mentioned what department store he was in when he saw those, because that could have been important now.

Anyway, we have a new story. Wal-Mart was selling panties that said “Who needs a credit card” on the front and “when you’ve got Santa” on the rear, and these were for kids. Rightfully, this made some parents upset, and Wal-Mart removed the panties. I was going to say pulled the panties, but that sounded wrong.

Who the hell would buy those for their kids. I’d still love to know how the Chinese takeout undies are selling now.

I Love The Smell of Great Korea In The Morning…It Smells Like…Victory.

This is kinda creepy, but is it underhanded? I’m still not sure.

In South Korea, volunteers supporting one of the candidates have been spraying a perfume called Great Korea into the crowd at ralleys. They did the same at the polls. They say it’s in the hopes that people will remember what the candidate said and vote for him because of the smell, and they could be right.

Part of me wonders if that’s any different than campaign slogans and commercials that grab your attention, but to me, a smell seems more subliminal.

I guess he won, so I wonder if the smell helped. It sounded like he was already doing well with or without some perfume mist in the crowd.

Some People May Find This Offensive, And That’s Good

Man, in all the flurry of political correctness, we’re getting stupid. But of course this is no news to anyone. What we’re forgetting is sometimes not sanitizing someone’s words is more useful than not offending anyone.

Let me explain. A while ago, city councilor Sandra Tucker of Dacono, Colorado, copied a big, long, offensive, not so funny joke onto a public blog. Wanna see exactly how unfunny it was? go read a PDF of it. Any blinks who want to read it should feed it through OCR software like Kurzweil or Openbook. I would have copied it to the blog, but when I ran it through Kurzweil, it was coated in garble. But I was able to get the gist of the joke. It sucked. Basically the joke was that being a democrat was worse than being a black, Jewish, gay, drug-addled, one-armed, AIDS-afflicted, unemployed orphan in a wheelchair who had a Mexican boyfriend. *Yawn*. Anyway, they asked her to take the joke down and she resigned.

Why did they even bother to take it down? It would do more to undermine her career to leave it up, put a note under it to the effect of “the views expressed here are those of Ms. Tucker and do not represent the city.” Then people can see the person they voted for for who she really is and make an intelligent decision about whether they want her back. Or, the people can ask her to resign because they don’t feel she represents them properly. Why not expose her for the complete and utter douche she truly is? When will people realize that offending people is sometimes a good thing?

I know she can’t become black or Lesbian, and she can only choose to be Jewish, but it would be fine justice if she became disabled, lost her job and somehow got AIDS. I would wish that her parents died, but they don’t deserve to be part of her bad carma. Then she can take another look at that joke and wonder if it’s funny.

DNA, Baby, That Spells Hahahahahahahahahah!

This is just too funny. James Watson, one of the guys who figured out DNA and its structure, started making racist assumptions and trying to back them up with science. He said that Africans, and black Americans who descended from them, just weren’t as smart as white people. Then, he decided to put his genome up on the net for all to see, and lo and behold, he had a lot of African genes!

All I can say is even if he isn’t dumb, he sure looks it.