How much pot were these people smoking? Can I have some?
Welcome to the USA
If you come to New York for a vacation and bring your kids, for god’s sake, don’t need medical attention. If you do, like Yvonne Bray from Britain did, they’ll take your kids into an orphanage, treat them like juvenile delinquents, strip-search them and ask them questions like “Have you been raped?” or “Are you in a street gang?” And then they’ll send you a letter telling you that you’re under investigation for parental neglect because the kids spent the 30 hours in the orphanage that you spent in the hospital. Thankfully, that has been cleared up, but still! What a sign that the system really works.
Lawyer Error
Here’s a second super prick. The lawyer for a co-pilot, and only survivor of a doomed flight said that the passengers of the flight shared the blame because they should have known that flying out of that airport was dangerous. Not surprisingly, that claim has been withdrawn. Um, too late. You’re officially skum.
But But But What About My Car?
You’ve got to be a special kind of prick to hit a kid, kill him, and sue his family so you can repair the damage to your car. If that’s not prickish enough, this quote should seal it. “I’m also a victim in all of this, you can’t fix the lad’s problems, but you can fix mine.”
Um, wow. Just wow.
Save Holly’s Hearing
This is just a quick note to help out someone I know. Due to some difficulties with tumours, Holly lost her vision, and now the tumours are threatening her hearing. What she needs is a procedure that costs $60000, and isn’t covered by her health insurance. So, if you’re interested, go read her blog, and if you can, send her some dough, and some hope!
Wrong Number In A Big Way
Man, we’re just full of stories about stupid people today. Our latest moron text messaged someone about buying some pills, but got the wrong number, and ended up texting a police detective. So, you can guess they lined themselves up for an arrest. Easy there, fast-fingers. You’d think you’d check the number before making an illegal drug deal. Hell, you wouldn’t think you’d even deal at all when you have a 2-year-old. But I guess that’s another sign this person is dumb.
Now, You’re Fired!
Here’s a tip for any disgruntled employees/employees with job-security issues. Next time you think you’re going to be terminated, unleash your revenge *after* you know you’ve been axed. Oh, and don’t be the only person capable of committing said revenge.
What Am I Gonna Do With Your Tattoo
Yeah, people are dumb. Why do I bother saying that anymore? But here’s another example. Not one, not two, but three women answered their door to find a random dude with a home-made tattoo gun standing there offering them a tattoo, and said yes! Now, quelle surprise, they all have an infection and don’t know what it is.
Come on. If you find a man at your door with an instrument described as “wrapped with black tape, had a pin underneath it, had fishing wire going through it, you could tell it was a homemade gun,” would you pony up and expose your flesh to it? I should fucking hope not! Fools, fools fools fools! This is almost as bad as those people who got cosmetic surgery done in that filthy house.
Stairway To Oops
I shouldn’t be laughing at this, and I feel like a horrible person for laughing, but I am. What is so funny about a guy all ready to go set off a suicide bomb falling down some stairs and setting it off too soon? I don’t know, but I can’t stop laughing. And then I mentally slap myself for laughing. And the funniest part is this guy isn’t the first to blow himself up as he gets ready to blow himself up.
Now the Legislators Of Iowa Definitely Need Prayer
Man, people are narrow-minded. The Iowa legislature had its usual prayer at the opening of the session, only this time, it was said by a muslim Imam, and because of that, people are getting all bent out of shape over some words. They claim that it wasn’t a prayer, but some kind of political statement with terrorist leanings. They say this because he mentions the great Satan and victory over those who disbelieve.
Here’s the text of the prayer, or as close to it as I can get, as shown in the article.
Imam Muhammad Khan of the Islamic Center of Des Moines spoke first in Arabic.
“I seek refuge in God against the accursed Satan in the name of God, most gracious, most merciful,” Khan said in English. Khan made no specific mention of the war in Iraq or foreign affairs, but he called God the “master of the day of judgment” and asked for “victory over those who disbelieve.”
“As we begin this new year…in a world with trials and tribulations, we ask you to open the hearts of our legislators and policy makers to make the right decisions for the people of Iowa,” Khan said. “…We ask that you guide our legislators and give them the wisdom and knowledge to tackle the difficult problems that face us today in order to eliminate the senseless crimes on humanity. Help them, Lord, to solve the complicated problems in the State of Iowa so that we can be a model to the world.”
Khan’s prayer lasted about four minutes and he closed with a few words for legislators.
“On behalf of the Muslim community of Des Moines and Iowa, I wish you all the success in this year for making the right decisions for us.”
Ok, can you see anything wrong with that? That sounded like your run of the mill prayer to me. Now let’s break it down. First of all, his word was the “accursed satan”, and doesn’t every prayer ask for protection against the resident evil in that religion? And with regards to the whole victory over those who disbelieve thing, how do we know he was referring to Americans and other folks? Every religion calls people who don’t believe a whole host of names, and prays for victory of those who do. How is this any different?
Man, people are twitchy, and I feel sorry for the Imam and the guy who invited him, because I think he was doomed from the beginning. I think if the guy said he liked soup, they would have tried to jump to conclusions about what soup may have symbolized in terrorist talk. How sad.