Cappy Meal

I’ve got no good way to start this off, so let’s just go ahead and enjoy some wholesome family time. Police said the incident began at approximately 1:30 p.m. local time, when a man received the wrong order at a McDonald’s drive-thru in Midvale. He then “brandished a firearm” at employees, police said, and employees …

Happy Birthday From Big Tech And Big Insurance. And From Mom, Eventually

Pretty sure I’m going to know exactly when Carin sees this post. I’ll be able to tell by the “WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!” that’s going to overwhelm any and all sound in a 12 mile radius when she finds out that this woman has spent years not knowing when her own child’s birthday is and arguing with people …

It’s Daddy Daughter Day Down At The Courthouse

Yup, this’ll totally work. Won’t look suspicious at all. Daddy’s got you covered. According to the Washington County Sheriff’s Office, around 3:13 a.m. on Friday, Dec. 31, a deputy observed two vehicles traveling “unusually close together” on I-41 southbound near State Highway 33. The deputy noticed the lead driver was continuously swerving, driving half on …

Good Luck In Life, Kid. I’d Say Break A Leg, But…

Reading this, my mind goes back and forth between two thoughts. As someone who grew up around my share of irresponsible drunks, I kind of hope this motherfucker never drives or sees his kid again. But the way that Canada and the U.S. treat these things, I imagine he’s already doing both regularly. As someone …

Guh. Kids These Days. Or Maybe Not

Woman faces impaired charges after collision with three-year-old in minivan: police My first question upon seeing this headline is probably the same one you have. What in the world was a three-year-old doing driving a minivan? The answer, of course, is it wasn’t. This is just another in the never ending parade of poorly written …

The Only Way To Stop A Good Guy With A Key Is A Good Guy With A Gun

It’s bad enough that this woman shot her own daughter because she came home unexpectedly, but just look at this horseshit. Chief Norman said he tried to think of what advice to give in such a difficult case, “If you realize someone has a gun for protection, and they’re not expecting you — announce yourself when …

He Totally Blew His Stackhouse

I missed this story last year. While it’s an absolutely awful one, it checks too many of our boxes here for me not to mention it. It seems that Travis Stackhouse was given some cheesecake for Father’s Day. He had one piece, and then some of the damn kids got into it. This upset him, …

Dr Pepper Has Made A Menace Out Of Me

A food feud and a parent of the year at the same time. You don’t see that every day. Dude has horrible taste in beverages, too. A West Monroe man has been arrested after he allegedly put a gun to his son’s head after his son drank the last Dr Pepper in their home. According …

The Gun, Unlike His Brain, Did Not Contain Blanks

Judge says he ‘never heard of something that breathtakingly stupid in my life’ in father’s shooting of son If this is the stupidest thing his honor has ever heard he must be either sheltered or new, but this is pretty dumb, I’m not gonna lie. As his son approached him, Voight yelled, “Rafael, tell me …