I know I’m putting up a lot of Christmas stuff in January, but that’s what happens when you’ve just come out of dialupville, where you budget your time spent on the internet, and then you come home and have a party. But I give you, from Snopes.com, misheard Christmas Carols! Get ready to laugh, laugh, and laugh some more about how Good King wants his applesauce, and round John Virgin is radiating meat from thy holy place, and lots more. Maybe you’ll see one from your childhood. I saw a couple, but then again, I am the queen of misheard lyrics.
>Very Baaad, Very Very Baaaad!
>This story isn’t that special, a woman in Dibble, Oklahoma, got charged because her two goats were screwing and pooping and someone saw it, but there were two things that caught my attention. For one, it was in her own yard, and it was fensed, so what’s the big deal? And, if animals aren’t supposed to relieve themselves in public, what does a dog do when it goes for a walk in Dibble? There must be a lot of out of shape dogs in disgusting conditions in that town, or no dogs at all, because that’s just weird.
Everyone Else Can Have a Holly Jolly Christmas Except You.
Ug. Here we go again with the political correctness. There was a publication put out four times a year by a group of psychiatric patients at Cromwell House Mental Health Facility. They decided to copy that ten Christmas Carols for the “mentally disturbed” thing. We have a similar list up on the blog years ago. Anyway, they thought it would be fun to make a little joke in their own magazine, and why the hell not? It’s their fucking magazine.
Then, someone saw it who has a family member who has a mental illness, and she got all offended, and because of her being offended, they pulled it!
Why? I would be pissed if a group of psychiatrists put this out with no patients involved, but these were patients! If they found it funny, let ’em laugh! Why should their illness be always regarded with such seriousness? And why can’t people stand by their own words anymore?
Airbags Don’t Kill People, People Kill People
It’s gotta be bad when you’re not safe with your own son, and then you’re left for dead by EMT’s.
It’s never explained why this poor woman’s son hit a parked car and then drove into a bank, but what is explained is how her son was pulled from the car by emergency medical technicians, but they never bothered to check under the passenger’s side airbag, where she was. They just had the car towed, and then the next day the family said there were two relatives, not one, missing. That’s when the towing officials had a look in the car, and voila! There’s the missing woman! Now she’s not missing, she’s dead.
Emergency personnel are praying that the medical examiner says that she died instantly, so they didn’t leave her alive in the car overnight. Let’s hope, for the poor woman’s sake, that she died in the crash.
My Zebibah is Bigger Than Your Zebibah
So, explain this to me. If according to Islam, everybody is supposed to pray the same amount, and men and women are both supposed to pray, and it always involves putting your nose and forehead to the ground, how come Egyptian men are just now developing a zebibah, egyptian for raisin, or callous developed from pressing their foreheads into the ground? And how come some people have bigger ones than others? I know everyone has varying degrees of sticking to religion, but it seems that Muslims stick a lot closer to the rules than people in other religions, so you wouldn’t think there would be that much variation. And why is this a new thing? All I can think is I don’t think it’s getting there from praying, and…ouch that’s gotta hurt!
Driving Blind
This story wouldn’t be worth posting, except for the ending. A 100-year-old Japanese man has been involved in several accidents, but refuses to stop driving, even though his license has been revoked. At the end of the story, they say that in 2009, drivers over 75 will be ordered to get checkups for dementia to continue driving. Hey guys, what about checking something else that is important to driving? How about checking eyesight. They never mention sight, and they don’t mention if it’s already being tested when a driver reaches a certain age. People seem to be forgetting that old people tend to lose their vision. And eyesight is easier to check. You can either read the letters or you can’t. Dementia is kind of subjective.
I’m not saying they shouldn’t check for dementia. I just think while they’re at it, they should take a look at the old peepers.
Santa Claus Is Getting Shot Down
I just love the title of this story about a helicopter carrying a Santa to a children’s party getting shot at in Rio De Janeiro. My Title Isn’t Half as good as the one on the actual story. Who knew Santa needed danger pay? Luckily, no one was hurt.
Suicide Bomber Junior
If the last post couldn’t render me speechless, this one does. Read it and be the judge about whether a crime was committed. What is never explained is what the cover of the DVD looks like.
Wha-aa-aa-aa-aat?
I can’t speak. I can barely write. All I can do is babble. Shocks? After a prank call? 77 of them to one person and 29 to another? The students wear the shock devices on their arms, legs and torso all the time? They can be set off by remote? Other calls have led them to put kids in four-point restraints? The government has tried to close this place and failed? But the Judge Rotenberg Educational Centre dares to call itself that, and is still open? Is it staffed by people with mental handicaps too? You read this and see if you’re capable of speech afterward.
Scammer ID
Wow. This is just weird. Apparently, some scammers have started phoning and emailing people pretending to be Regions Bank. They ask them to call this other number and give out their credit card number, expiry date and other info. But what’s the weirdest part is when the scammer phones, people’s caller ID’s have been popping up the words “this is a scam,” and the people who provide the caller ID databases can’t seem to explain why that’s happening, or at least that’s how I understand it. Maybe someone can straighten me out.
Here’s the point where I go on my old tyrade. If you get a call from a number asking you to give personal data, don’t give it like an obedient little sheep. Google is a wonderful tool, as is your bank. If the call you receive asking for data is automated, hang up on it and google the number if you have a caller ID. If you don’t have caller ID, call your bank and ask if they need you to renew information, or go visit your local branch. If there’s an actual human on the other end of the phone asking for info, say you don’t give personal data over the phone and let the human have a nice meeting with the dial tone. If you don’t google the number or ask your bank, just go with your gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is, and you’ll be a lot better off if you just don’t respond. If the bank really wants to get a hold of you, they will send you a letter in the mail, or you’ll find your credit card has been frozen until you give them what they need, or something. The bank doesn’t just go away. These scammers will give up.
I have to admit the people perpetrating this scam are persistent. Not only do they have the person’s phone number, but their email address, which makes me wonder how much data they’ve stolen already. I could see some people thinking “well, the bank does have both my phone and email address, it must be real.” So I could see a lot of people falling for this one. All I know is if you have caller ID, and your caller ID says “this is a scam,” and you still call it and give out the data, you’ve just crossed over the victim/retard bridge, never to return.