Given this fellow’s apparent condition and the results of the subsequent police search I feel like the presence of the potato might be some kind of drug thing, but I don’t know. I don’t know and I kind of don’t want to. It’s so much more fun to imagine that buddy just happened to have …
Category Archives: alcohol was a factor
If It Wasn’t For The Community Service, You’d Be In Jail Right Now!
“Driving around with alcohol and cocaine in your system and getting into an accident is definitely bad.” “Maybe, but what if that accident were to kill a guy who was driving around with alcohol and meth in his?” “Nope, still bad. But thanks…I guess? “You know what? I think I’m gonna try to avoid roads …
Continue reading “If It Wasn’t For The Community Service, You’d Be In Jail Right Now!”
Just Tell Him You Were Driving, Dog
Believe it or not, I actually know a couple of guys who tried to pull off the old switch places during a traffic stop thing once. They were both drinking, but decided, in their infinite wisdom, that the one that didn’t have a driver’s license was in better shape and thus less likely to get …
Gosh Darn It, I Forgot To Bring A Reusable Again. How Silly Of Me
Though I understand the impulse to get annoyed when all you want is one simple bag in which you can carry one simple thing and you can’t have one, this seems like a slight overreaction. Seems like some Olympic level grudge holding, too. At around 10:30 p.m. Saturday, the driver slammed the car into the …
Continue reading “Gosh Darn It, I Forgot To Bring A Reusable Again. How Silly Of Me”
Better Than Eating Them, I Suppose
I don’t know what prompted Joseph Weaver to resign from his position at the Jacksboro Tennessee police department, but clearly, he’s upset about it. A very odd kind of upset, but definitely upset. Weaver, according to police, admitted to throwing several cans of Vienna sausages at the home of the town’s vice mayor Jimmy Snodgrass, …
Look, Guys! It’s The Inside Of My Skull Where My Brain Used To…Never Mind
After all these years, I’ve gotten to the point with fireworks injury stories where I’ve seriously caught myself thinking “meh. Guy blew his hand off. Whatever.” I’ll read them just in case there’s a funny detail buried somewhere, but most of the time they get a quick scan and then it’s on to the next …
Continue reading “Look, Guys! It’s The Inside Of My Skull Where My Brain Used To…Never Mind”
Sleep, Drink, Sleep Again
As far as I know, I have no plans to visit Japan anytime soon. But if that changes, I know exactly where I’m staying regardless of which part of the country I’m supposed to be in. Located in Shizuoka City, The Villa & Barrel Lounge just opened up this summer. The company behind it, though, …
Sour Dispatch Kids
I have so many questions, and I’m pretty sure the answers to all of them are alcohol and Florida. A “heavily intoxicated” Florida Man was arrested Saturday night for calling 911 to report that his girlfriend “wished to eat Sour Patch Kids” according to police. An arrest affidavit does not reveal why Joshua Larson, 37, …
Well Boys, Have I Got A Deal For You!
The story itself is a bit old, but the idea of drive drunk, damage car, head to dealership and attempt to sell damaged car is new to me. Officers say the calls started coming in around 4:40 p.m. Monday. They say witnesses reported seeing a SUV hit the median of the Lloyd Expressway near the …
Now They’ve Got Two
It’s not every day that the same person is involved in multiple hit-and-runs, especially when that person is the victim. The details are pretty gruesome and I feel awful for this woman and her loved ones. But holy hell, how drunk do you have to be in order to be the second perpetrator? Is it …