Last Updated on: 26th September 2013, 10:41 am

I’m not really sure why but I just got thinking about that Puppetry Of The Penis show that’s been touring around the world the last couple years. If you don’t know what that is, it’s these 2 guys that use their penises to create things and do what could best be described as stupid human tricks. That whole concept weirds me out. I mean it’s one thing to figure out that you can do things like that, but the first guy to realize it had to not only tell the other guy, but also get him to admit that he could do it too, and then convince him that if they just put their heads together, (oh gees, that wasn’t even intentional,) that they could make some good money by traveling around showing people that they are masters of dick trickery. Maybe I’m missing something. Ok, I probably am because they’ve got piles of money and even a DVD of their act now.

I wonder how many people went to see the Vagina Monologues because they thought it was a ventriloquist act.

I was watching Cops tonight and I saw a commercial for the 11 o’clock news where they were talking about an elderly man who had just finished walking across Canada. We would find out why at 11. I bet he just went out to get some milk from the store and got lost.

Speaking of Cops, we’ve got a Canadian version of that show called Serve And Protect. I swear that this show is all the stuff that they edit out of Cops. It’s the same idea, just without all of the action and excitement that makes Cops interesting. To give you an idea of just how completely lame Serve And Protect is, I saw one episode where they actually aired a routine traffic stop. I’m not making that up. They pulled a guy over, had him show his licence and registration, asked him how fast he was going, wrote him a ticket and then let him go. Wait, I’m not even sure if they even wrote him out a ticket at all. They did however ask him where he was heading, so fear not, the suspense factor was still in full effect.

God, Canadian TV just sucks. Other than the comedy and the news programming that is, we own America hands down there. It’s really cool too because sometimes the comedy and the news overlap, like whenever the Prime Minister is giving a speech. You have no idea how much fun it is to watch him on TV. The guy can’t speak either French or English competently but he’s the best option we have for a leader, has been for about 10 years now. The guy’s even more fun than watching Bush, because Bush just massacres the English language, Chretien is completely inept in both official languages.

Hmmm, not really sure how to end this post, wait, I’ve got it!

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