The Holiday Post AT A Not So Holiday Time

Last Updated on: 27th February 2014, 10:41 am

Ok, so it’s January 15 and I’m finally writing a post about Christmas and such. Um, I suck. Hopefully I don’t end up boring people to death.

Christmas was actually a pretty good one. Usually, it consists of being run ragged doing a 300-mile trek to see my mom’s side of the family…and then potentially coming right back a day later…and then coming back this way again a few days later. Yuck! But this year, we actually got together with mom’s relatives early and had a nice big dinner. The only thing that sucked about that was because of the room’s setup, I didn’t feel like I got to talk to everyone. But, this is a big experiment, so I’m sure it’ll be better next year. It’s scary how fast those little cousins are growing up. I think the last time I saw one little guy, he was two weeks old. Now, he’s 3! Eek!

Plus, when I got home, I actually got to see everybody I wanted to without it being too insane. And I think Trixie finally has a set of boots that will work! Yea booties! Apparently, the last time I tried to get Muttluks, I still had the wrong size. No wonder the poor pooch couldn’t bend her legs. But she’ll wear these, and they stay on a hell of a lot better. And I think I’ve almost mastered the booty harness thing. trix doesn’t like it, but she needs it. One day, it was really cold, and I wasn’t going far, so I didn’t booty her up. Then she stepped out of my friend’s car, and after a few steps started limping and shrieking! That sound broke my heart and will be in my nightmares for a long time.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Trixie has my dad wrapped around her paw. As we were driving, he would constantly ask, “How’s Trixie? Is she too hot? Too cold?” It’s so cute, because dad has never been one to love, or even like, dogs. But he would do anything for her, no matter how ridiculous. Once, I mentioned how Trixie doesn’t like being groomed on the balcony because it’s cold out there, and dad piped up with, “Should we get a tent and a propane heater so it’ll be warm out there?” Oh dear lord no! She’ll survive. Ah dad, you’re adorable. he went out and found a cool brush called a Furminator for Trix. It’s expensive, but man is it ever awesome! Much love to the Furminator. She’s even smoother and shinier now that I use it than she was before. Soon, she’ll glow!

I think things are looking up for 2008. Why? We had another New Year’s party! Last year, we didn’t have one, so it was cool to have one again. Although, I felt a lot older this year. I really paid the price for staying up until almost 5 in the morning one night. I wondered how the hell I managed to do that for years before. I look back on how those parties used to go for days and days, and wonder how the hell we didn’t go insane. People were only there from December 30 to January 1, but I was exhausted and glad to see them go. Don’t get me wrong, I loved having them, but I was dead after those couple of days.

It was a good party, though, complete with some wacky homemade caraoke and lots of laughing. The only part that kind of sucked was one of the guests just didn’t get along with, well, anyone. Let’s call him Box-of-Rocks. He was brought by another dude who’s always at these things, and Box-of-Rocks managed to even shock and appall the guy who brought him. that’s impressive! It was kind of weird to watch. I have never seen someone turn everyone against him so fast. I can’t exactly put my finger on what turned everyone off, but they were turned off. He was just…odd! He would walk around our house and look through our drawers for no discernable reason. He would move our stuff around, even though we told him to stop. He seemed to think that a lot of us blinks needed to be looked after like small children, even though we’re quite capable. His jokes didn’t make sense, try as he might to make them into something we would laugh at. He couldn’t remember my name! I think I had three names by the end of two days! Through some feat of unexplainable dumbassitude, he destroyed our TV remote! He can’t explain how he did it, but after he started carrying it around by the bottom buttons, the lights ceased to blink and it no longer did anything of consequence. The Rogers Video dude just stared at it, took the batteries out of it, put them in a new remote and said, “There ya go, problem solved. You need a new remote.” I asked him what was wrong with this one, and he said he hadn’t the slightest clue!

But I think the coup de grace was his whining about how the bathroom was always in use, and once, he just couldn’t hold it, so…did he, a. wait patiently?
b. Dance in front of the bathroom door, saying how much he needed to drain his lizard?
c. Go across the hall to ask a neighbour if he could use their facilities?
d. Piss in the sink?
e. take a wizz off the balcony?
If you said e, congratulations, you either heard the story before, or are wired up exactly like Box-of-Rocks, in which case you need to be studied extensively so we can prevent future wirings like yours.

But oh I’m not done. After all the whining about the bathroom, and pissing off the balcony, our friend Box-of-Rocks thinks a fine time to lock the door and take a shower would be right after another friend gets sick…and not just in the toilet. Yeah! He doesn’t even bother to clean it up first. He just climbs over it and cleanses himself. We didn’t realize this right away because we’d taken another friend down to meet a cab. When we came back and found him in the shower, oh lordy he heard about it! We were just sad that our plumbing was actually too good to freeze/scald him by turning on the kitchen tap.

But enough bitching. At least this party will definitely be memorable, and not just for stupid reasons.

Looking back on 2007, it was a pretty good year. It started off scary, but it seemed to balance itself out and bring more good things than bad. Of course the biggest good thing is the arrival of the Trixter. I can’t believe I’ve had her home for nine months as of today. Yeah, I sound like a broken record, always remarking about how I can’t believe it’s been that long. In a way, I can, because I feel like I’ve had her forever, but in a way, it didn’t feel like that long ago that she was brand new.

I hope everyone else’s 2007 was good, or at least turned out alright, and 2008 brings many good things. Happy New Year!

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