We Notice Too Many Ads

Last Updated on: 11th February 2020, 11:17 am

Here we go again with the comercials.

I saw an ad for Iams dog food that said that the food would produce the seven signs of healthy vitality. Uh, what other kind of vitality is there? I’ve never heard of unhealthy vitality. I guess cancer could have healthy vitality that would be unhealthy for you, so maybe they have a point, but my brain had to stretch to reach that one. I couldn’t find a commercial, but I found a link to their seven signs.

There was a Leons commercial on that definitely made me raise my eyebrows. I can’t find it, so I’ll try to describe it. It showed the same lady who was in the rogers “He’s soooo handy!” commercial. She was calling herself Barbara bailout and was talking about your financial forecast. She said something like “It shows a 40 percent chance of layoff, and a 70 percent chance of your financial planner not returning your phone calls…hello?” This was immediately followed by the Leon’s guy telling you that you should come in and buy furniture because the “No Money Miracle Event” was on. Yeah, because when I’m already financially screwed, and have had that fact pointed out to me just now, the first thing I want to do is go buy a big expensive couch. but the scary part is a bunch of people will hear “no interest,” and they’ll go buy stuff they don’t need and can’t afford. Then they’ll need a miracle to find money. Maybe they should check their new couch for change.

Here’s an example of an ad that doesn’t work. It was for Advair, some asthma drug. Among its, er, side-effects was asthma-related death. Uh, death? Isn’t it supposed to prevent asthma-related death? That’s why you’re taking it, right?

Continuing on the drug front, I had to laugh when I noticed the squirming going on to do with an ad for a birth control pill called Yas. This article explains it pretty well. It’s hard to find a copy of the commercial since I guess the FDA was screaming that it disappear, but I found one with horribly shitty sound. that was the best I could do. Basically the ad made it sound like the pill would help girls with PMS and zits. Then, This ad came out. “You may have seen some ads for yas that were not clear,” the chick says. “The FDA wants us to clear up a few points in those ads.” A few points? She proceeds to rewrite the ad from beginning to end. Nice job, guys.

Here’s something disturbing. They’re called Hormel Compleats. Yes, I discovered that was how it was supposed to be spelled. when I first started watching the ad, it just seemed like an ad for a TV dinner. Whatever. It talked about real food that could be microwaved and it would be ready in 90 seconds. But it said the following words. “From the supermarket to your drawer, …” Drawer? Back the truck up. If it’s supposed to be a microwavable meal, what’s it doing in a drawer. Here’s an ad for them. What does it look like? Is it in a can? I don’t think so. Here’s an article describing one.

There’s an ad for something called Charco caps and it said they were preferred by 4 out of five people with gas. What kind of gas? Don’t we all have some kind of gas? But I don’t think we’re all downing these charco-caps things.

does anyone else want to kill the talking giant Super 8 Sign? I can’t find the radio commercial that drives me bananas, so this one will have to do. In the radio commercial, he keeps insisting that Joanna needs to take her colleagues to a Super 8 for their sales meeting, because there’s all kinds of great stuff nearby like water slides and a llama farm…why a troop of business folk would want to go to a llama farm is beyond me. He’s sure that with all the money she’ll save, she’ll be employee of the month. “Hey!” he yells. “You’ll get your face in a frame!” By now, his voice has reached this pitch and tone that grates on the ears..and then he yells something that sounds like, “I got free breakfast and internets!” Internets? Super 8 has more than one internet? Ug. Maybe that’s a good idea, just so the sign can have his own internet so he won’t pop into your emails to tell you all about “dethtination thuper.”

A couple of the Rona commercials are really weird. there’s one where this guy spontaneously starts ripping part of the house apart…and suddenly he’s built a deck. The only problem is it’s in the middle of the living room. then the slogan comes on. “Rona: Doing it right.” Uh, if I’m not mistaken, I think what just happened was wrong. That just seemed like a slogan placement fail.

Then there were a couple of iPhone commercials that grabbed our attention because they make us think weird things. there’s one that says If you need to fix a wabbly bookshelf, there’s an app for that. Why is it that we always think the app involves shoving the phone under one of the legs to prop it up? I’m sure it is some kind of laser level or something, but that’s not what immediately comes to mind.

Or there’s the one that says Or if you just want to read a regular old book, there’s an app for that. If they mean you’re reading a book electronically, that’s not reading a regular old book. that’s reading an eBook. Unless the phone is going to turn the pages for you and somehow read the print book, it’s not helping you read a “regular old book.”

What’s with the rash of commercials whose slogans are simply telling you that choosing their product is a good choice? Have they run out of ideas? first it was the Nissan commercials that just name the car and say “good decision.” Then I saw commercials for some Hyundai that said “It’s a smart choice.” Moving away from cars, there was a commercial for beer and all they could come up with was “It’s a good beer decision.” come on. That’s just lame.

The last one I noticed was an ad for Hellmann’s Mayonaise. Listen to the chick who says “and yes to real, yes to Hellmann’s.” doesn’t it sound like she’s either taking a crap or she’s being forced to say those words? As an aside, since when does that commercial make any sense. “make real food yourself. Buy our processed mayo.” Hmmm. Something’s wrong.

And that’s all we’ve got for this round of commercials. Probably everyone thinks we’re super weird now.

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