Pennies To Heaven

I’ve spent a good bit of space here telling you all why Canada’s Stephen Harper Conservative government sucks a juicy fat one, so I won’t bother rehashing. You can do a search here if you can’t figure it out for yourself. But since I pride myself on being a fair man, I must give the government credit where it’s due.

As usual, I’m behind on things so haven’t had time to really digest what’s in last week’s federal budget. I know they cut funding to the CBC which upsets me for a number of reasons, but they did at least get one thing right. At long last, the penny is finally going away!

The Canadian government announced on Thursday that it plans to pull the penny from circulation at the end of 2012, saying the copper-coated currency is more expensive for the Royal Canadian Mint to produce than its actual currency value.

“Pennies take up too much space on our dressers at home. They take up far too much time for small businesses trying to grow and create jobs,” said Finance Minister Jim Flaherty. He also said it costs 1.5 cents to produce each penny.

“We will, therefore, stop making them,” he said.

I’ve been waiting for this day since 2004. I think I’ve actually been waiting longer, but that was the first time I got around to putting my feelings into print, complete with some cocksuckingly terrible grammar. Jesus Steve, what were you drinking that day?

I don’t know what I was drinking, but I can tell you that tomorrow when the first pitch flies on the first game of the Blue Jays’ season, my first toast will not just be to the return of meaningful baseball. It will also be to a dream realized and a pain in the ass removed.

So long, penny. You won’t be missed. Not around here, anyhow. Not until the price of everything starts going up by 5 cents, at least.

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