When Ya Gotta Go, Ya Gotta Go Where Good Looking Chicks Are Going To Be

Last Updated on: 12th July 2013, 01:55 pm

Hey ladies. Before you get too comfortable in that office chair this afternoon, you might want to check it for things that shouldn’t be there. Things likethe IT guy’s urine, for instance.

A Farm Bureau official told investigators that Foley had access to the Farm Bureau’s employee database, which contains photographs of workers. He would browse the database and “pick out attractive females and then on off hours, he would come into work, go to their desk, and urinate on their chairs.”

After employees began noticing the appearance of mysterious chair stains late last year, Farm Bureau officials decided to try and trap the seat soiler.

A video camera installed in February subsequently recorded Foley urinating on the chairs of at least four female coworkers, according to the police report. “There is possibly 2 to 3 other chairs urinated on that were out of view of the cameras,” according to cops.

Foley is Raymond Foley, a 59-year-old now former employee of the Iowa Farm Bureau and current criminal mischief charge facer. His pee spree caused about $4500 worth of damage and will likely result in the replacement of 10 destroyed chairs.

So…why did he do it? I’m sure a few of us have a pretty good idea, but all we can officially do right now is guess. When questioned by investigators, All Foley said is that “I was doing inappropriate things I shouldn’t be doing.” You don’t say, Ray.

By the way, is it wrong that I wonder if there’s anybody in the Farm Bureau office who might have gotten even the slightest bit offended by not being chosen as a target? Some people are pretty weird about stuff like that, especially when the word attractive starts getting thrown around.

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