He’s Havin’ My Baby?

So yeah…I guess I’m about due for a weird and wacky dream.

I blame the show “Dates from Hell” for this dream. No, it’s not as nightmarish as the things that go on in that show, but it was to do with something one of the victims said. Due to the maniac she took on a date running her through with a sword, the doctors said she wouldn’t be able to ever have kids. Well, surprise, she had a kid. This got Steve and I to start joking about what we’d do if the doctors were wrong about me not being able to have kids. I guess this little snippet needed more processing in dreamland, so this is what my brain coughed up.

I dreamed that we had a baby. I say we because I’m not really sure who actually birthed the baby. Apparently, in my strange mind, Steve could have the kid. I’m almost certain it wasn’t me…which made this whole thing double weird. My mom was there, and for some reason she was having a baby too, which is even weirder, but I was so glad she was there because we really had no idea a baby was on the way. I remember thinking “Well I guess we can’t laugh at the girls who go to the bathroom, have no idea they’re pregnant, and pop goes the baby.” But at any rate, we had no supplies, since Steve had the baby, I couldn’t breastfeed, and we had no formula…and we had no plan for how we were going to care for a baby!

For a while, we kept hiding the baby with my mom, but we knew this wouldn’t work forever. But I was afraid to go get help because I had this irrational fear that as soon as hospital staff found out we had a baby, and we were both blind, they would take the baby. Then, out of nowhere, Shel Silverstein’s Someone Ate the Baby went through my head.

It was just then that my mom suddenly thought it was odd that the baby came out of Steve, and wondered what was going on. So she wanted to get a DNA test. But the thing was she couldn’t get blood from the baby! Now we were really wigging out wondering what this was…and I woke up.

I have a very very strange brain, that is for sure. And wow I’ve had a lot of dreams about babies coming to us through weird ways. Is that common?

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  1. There’s a lot of wackiness to be had here, but I think my favourite part is that between the 2 of us we can’t figure out who blasted out a bloodless alien child.

  2. Well, for the last eight or ten years, Steve has looked to be about 8.5 months along, so it’s not out of the relm of possibility.

    1. It’s been longer than that, I’ll have you know! If you’re gonna insult somebody, at least have the decency to get it right!

      I figured somebody was going to say something like that. Didn’t know if it would be you, Matt or me, but I had a feeling someone would.

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