Some really funny stuff here from Scott Feschuk of Macleans, as he takes real Dear Abby questions and answers them as Stephen Harper might answer them.
DEAR ABBY: I was married to my high school sweetheart, “Linda,” for 37 years. I am a widower now, going into a new relationship with “Susan.” How do I integrate pictures of Linda with Susan being there?—LIGHTNING STRIKES TWICE
Dear LIGHTNING: I just experienced a similar challenge. For years, I had supported, praised and relied on a talented military general named “Andy.” Then he retired and started working for my political rival. This made him dead to me. And, personally, I find the most effective way to navigate the grieving process is to subject the “deceased” to a blistering personal attackof dubious accuracy. Let “Linda” have it with both barrels.
The last one is absolute gold, but it’s all pretty great.