To Make Whole, Or Not To Make Whole, Here, Have Thousands Of Text Messages

I don’t spend a lot of time using online auctions or classifieds sites, so haven’t yet had the experience of being ripped off by some dick who fails to come through with what I paid him for. But if ever that day should come, I hope I’m as creative with my revenge as Edd Joseph.

Joseph bought a PS3 and some games from a seller on Gumtree via a direct bank transfer which seriously isn’t all that bright and is even against the site’s terms and conditions, as it happens. So with the company not protecting him and the police proving to be basically useless, he turned to William Shakespeare and all those words he wrote back in the day.

Edd discovered he could copy the words from the internet and paste them into a text message – without costing him a penny on his unlimited mobile phone package.

He sends it as one text but his victim can only receive them in 160 character chunks – meaning the 37 works of Shakespeare will buzz through in 29,305 individual texts.

So far Edd has sent 22 plays including Hamlet, Macbeth and Othello which have been delivered in 17,424 texts.

He reckons the remaining 15 works will take another few days to send – meaning his adversary’s phone will have been constantly beeping for nearly a week.


And how’s it all been working out?

Edd has now started getting abusive replies from the seller.

He said: “I got the first reply after an hour, and then a few more abusive messages after that. His phone must have been going off pretty constantly for hours.

“But recently he has taken to calling me and giving me abuse on the phone. I tried to ask him if he was enjoying the plays, but he was very confused.

“I’m going to keep doing it. If nothing else I’m sharing a little bit of culture with someone who probably doesn’t have much experience of it.

“I’m not a literary student, and I’m not an avid fan of Shakespeare but I’ve got a new appreciation you could say – especially for the long ones.”

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