When Mom And Dad Taught You To Love Vegetables And Libraries, I Don’t Think This Is What They Had In Mind

It’s a beautiful day. I think I’ll head to the library. I’ll be on my way just as soon as I grab the laptop, a cucumber and my sex drive.

Officers received a call around 11 a.m. Saturday for a suspicious incident at Agincourt Library in the city’s Scarborough area.

They found a man holding a cucumber in one hand, while allegedly performing the same lewd act that library staff recognized from an incident in April.

“On April 7, he sits down and a (26-year-old woman) sits next to him and he opens up his laptop,” Const. David Hopkinson said Wednesday.

The man then started masturbating with one hand while holding a cucumber with his other hand, the officer alleged.

No, you’re not reading that wrong. He’s apparently done this more than once this year.

Police have charged Fredrick Tennyson Davis, 49, with committing an indecent act and dinged him with a couple of probation violations for good measure since more than once also includes June of 2012, a case for which he was given a year’s worth of it.

Oh, and this police quote is pretty great, too.

When asked if Davis appeared threatening to the library staff or patrons, Hopkinson said he wasn’t sure if there was any threat.

“I don’t think he had any free hands to make any threat,” the officer said.

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