For The Second Time Today, Don’t Dink And Drive

Thankfully nobody died this time.

A Georgia motorist was masturbating when he plowed his vehicle into a van that had stopped at an intersection, police report.
According to cops, Donald Marvin Johnson, 63, was “physically distracted” while driving his Saturn Ion Monday morning in Martinez, an Augusta suburb.
Johnson was “following too closely” when he rear-ended a Chevrolet Astro van.
As detailed in a Columbia County Sheriff’s Office report, driver Ricartia McBride, 28, told police that she saw Johnson’s car “swerving and driving recklessly” before the crash, adding that his vehicle “almost hit her two or three times.”
McBride, cops reported, said that, “the last time she looked over at Mr. Johnson, he had his penis exposed outside of his pants and was physically masturbating.”

Heh heh heh…you said Johnson.

The aptly named suspect was charged with public indecency and following too closely. At last report he was being held on $11,200 bond. No word on the possibility that he was fantasizing about taking somebody from behind at the time of the accident.

This isn’t Johnson’s first go round with the justice system. In 2008, he was convicted of…wait for it…public indecency. While driving, even. The more things change and whatnot. The incident report in that case notes, albeit incorrectly, that no weapon or tool was used during the commission of the alleged crime.

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