I Believe In Santa Claus

Last Updated on: 22nd November 2022, 10:45 pm

So Santa has been here for a bit over a week now, and although things haven’t gone perfectly, I am really noticing a difference. I have energy! I have a brain that works! Sleep actually makes me feel refreshed!

The machine isn’t working quite right for me, because I don’t think my mask is quite fitting right, or something. The machine keeps thinking I’m not wearing the mask, so stops blowing air like it should, which really makes me feel like I can’t breathe.

On top of that, it keeps lying about how much I’m using the mask. If the machine is Santa Claus, the thing that records data on machine usage is Pinocchio because it lies so much. If it has a nose, it would be very very long. Thank goodness the people who sell this stuff can actually tell that I’m using the mask. Otherwise, I might be in trouble with the sleep doctor for not following his orders.

The only other annoying thing is the machine has a touchscreen. For the most part, this isn’t a problem because the people at the company set all my parameters, and they can log in and change them. But apparently there is one parameter that they can’t change, and that’s the exact one that needs changing. Arg. I don’t know how many times I asked if the touchscreen would be a problem for me because of the whole blindness thing. They kept saying no, and now, it is. But at least they’re willing to help me fix it, even if they have to send someone over to my house to do it.

If this parameter change doesn’t work, then it might be my mask. This is another annoying post-covid thing. Apparently, when you come in for your training session, the trainers aren’t allowed to turn the air on the machines on because I guess it blows too many particles around. So they can’t do a mask-fitting session where you put the mask on and then the machine foofs air at you and you get feedback on how well the machine feels the mask is fitting. So you have to take the mask home and try it. But these masks aren’t cheap, so it’s risky! And from what I read, mask issues are the bumpiest part of the ride. Thanks a bunch, Covid.

I was worried about how hard it would be to get used to adding CPAP machine things into my bedtime routine, but it hasn’t been that bad. All I have to do is make sure there’s distilled water in this little reservoir thingamabob every night, and I usually do that a couple hours before it’s time to fall asleep. Then, when I’m getting into bed, I slap the mask on, attach the hose and try to put the hose somewhere where it won’t get in my way, and hit the button and there we go. In the morning, I wipe the mask with a baby wipe and then dump the water reservoir thingy.

The first night was the worst. I don’t know what I did, but I had air leaking everywhere and it just wasn’t working well at all. But ever since, aside from the thing just thinking I’m not there and shutting off, it’s been doing its stuff. One thing I did that was kind of helpful was I practised wearing the mask when it wasn’t hooked up to the air, so I could just get used to it.

Steve says I breathe differently now when I’m sleeping, and when I’m thinking about doing that weird short breathing thing, the machine does stuff to get me back on track.

I’ve even cleaned the components and that wasn’t too bad either. I think maybe I’m getting the hang of this.

But I’m always worried it’s going to fail. If I’m tired at all, I’ll worry that the machine isn’t working. These last couple of days have been stressful and I found myself more tired, but I’ll freak out that the machine isn’t doing its job. Um, hello. It’s been stressful, so that’s why I’m tired. Without the machine, I probably would have been totally exhausted.

So, Santa Claus has been pretty good to me so far. Hopefully we can fix the kinks in the system, and I can have crazy good sleep, tons of brain power and tons of energy…and lower blood pressure would also be awesome.

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1 Comment

  1. I hope you can get the wrinkles ironed out soon. I can only imagine what it will be like when the thing and you are working perfectly together. I’m scared! Send Help! Hahaha.

    It’s absolutely making a difference already, and I’m not here for anyone who wants to say it’s a placebo thing. Trust me. I live in the same house with Carin and you’re not placeboing your way out of this. I’m also saying this as someone who has dealt with sleep problems of his own. There’s not enough fake energy in the world to sustain how she’s been since Santa arrived. Even with some pretty significant stress justifiably wearing her out, she’s good different.

    Just remember, Carin. We joke about you being a machine, but at the end of the day you are a human person in its 40s that has been through some things. Not every day is going to be bouncing and rainbows. I’m just glad that you’re already getting some of what you need out of it so quickly.

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