Last Updated on: 7th August 2026, 04:46 pm
That title likely won’t make sense to anyone but Carin, but it works and it’s the best I’ve got, so we’re going with it.
Speaking of Carin, any of you who know her, do yourselves a favour and picture this in her voice. Take it from me, it’s at least twice as amusing that way.
WE’RE HAVING A GET-TOGETHER. COULD YOU BRING YOUR MASSIVE, POORLY TRAINED DOG?
A few especially Carinesque snips to get you started:
Hey man, we’re having a little get-together in the park this weekend. I would love it if you could make it. We’ll have snacks, and you can bring a six-pack or something if you want. We’ll probably throw some tunes on the portable speaker, catch up, and just enjoy the afternoon.
Oh, one other thing, almost slipped my mind: Could you bring your massive, poorly trained dog?As soon as you arrive, could you immediately take his leash off and then, after the fact, ask us if we’re cool with it?
Could you reassure us that—despite his size and general demeanor—he’s actually very friendly?Once the spread’s been laid out on the picnic blanket, could he run across it, stamping one muddy paw in the open red pepper hummus container, and another squarely on our son’s face?
When your big, stinky mutt chases after another dog in the park, could you meekly call his name and say “come,” a request you may as well be making of the moon, for all the effect it will have, as your dog’s atavistic predatory instincts overwhelm what perfunctory efforts you’ve made to train him to live peacefully in a large, urban area?
Could you wait until the other dog’s owner starts calling out “Excuse me? Whose dog is this?” before you sheepishly amble over? When you return, could you make an offhand comment about how unreasonable the other owner is and how they shouldn’t bring their pup to the park if they’re not ready to “play” with other dogs, even though any definition of play that encompasses the depraved behavior of your gigantic, ungovernable hound would necessarily also include a spider’s “play” with a fly, a lion’s “play” with a gazelle, etc.?
Hahahahahahahahahaha good choice of title. I can’t remember if I wrote about this, but I’ll never forget that day you and Trix and I were walking around and somebody had their little yip yip dog either tied to something or on one of those retractable leashes. It saw us and started arf arfing and lunging at us. The person was feebly yelling “Foxy!” at it. We managed to get into one place and finished up. Then we came back out and I heard the same arf arf. Without thinking, I said “You again!” This time, it lunged at me and I think got its claws into my legs. I wasn’t sure if it was claws or teeth, but I was not amused.
Speaking of retractable leashes, they should have included something to the effect of “And do bring your longest retractable leash, fully extended and forget you have a way to bring it back in. Oh, and don’t forget to drop it so the big thumpy handle chases your untrained hound, making it galumph even faster through our picnic.”
I’m going to do a rare and scary thing and call you on your memory, because those encounters didn’t happen on the same day. We may have seen that woman and her dog twice the first time, but the “You Again!” thing was weeks or months later. I know this because it’s the whole reason I remember it. We were out walking just like the first time, I think it was even to the same plaza. Suddenly, I heard the sound of skittering claws and a voice that I swore I had heard before, calling a name I felt for some strange reason like I knew. Then I heard a voice I definitely knew. Yours, you againning the two of them. I was waiting for a shouting match or worse to break out, but I think your minor jumping upon was the worst of it.
Yup my memory is not what it used to be. My brain has them in the same day, but you’re right, the only way that’s funny is the way you remember it.