And speaking of dumb, why would you even try getting away with throwing a big party right now? There’s no way somebody isn’t going to stooge that off. Cripes, you’d probably raise less suspicion if you just straight up murdered somebody…assuming that the murder in question involved five people or fewer, of course. Wellington County …
Category Archives: news
Don’t Mess With Me. These Lungs Are Lethal Weapons
Coughing on people and objects is so much the new thing nowadays that it’s hardly worth posting every instance of it. But this one I’m putting up because it’s particularly dumb. This doofus, who the Guelph Police Service has not named here, got himself a probation violation for randomly coughing on a couple of people …
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Got Your Nose! But You Can’t Touch It!
And now, the story of Dr. Daniel Reardon, a presumably smart person (he’s an astrophysicist) who nevertheless managed to get a bunch of magnets stuck up his nose while trying to help humanity remember not to touch its face. “I have some electronic equipment but really no experience or expertise in building circuits or things,” …
He Was Not Charged With False Advertising, For Some Reason
I’m a little late to the party, but I still feel that it is my duty to inform you that a Daniel Sober has been arrested for failing to live up to his moniker. Daniel Sober, 44, was busted Saturday evening for drunk driving following a police stop near his home in Lower Burrell, a …
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So Wait. You’re Telling Me Some Of Those Games *Aren’t* Rigged?
I don’t know if Cheryl Holden’s problem is with gambling specifically, but clearly there’s an issue of some sort going on here. A Folkestone mum who spent £100 trying to win teddies from an arcade believes the machines were set up to stop her claiming them for her child. Last month Cheryl Holden, 34, was …
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I Hear NO Brain A Comin’
I’m just spitballing here, but I feel like this was done during a break between rounds of posting conspiracy theories on Facebook. A train engineer told police in Los Angeles that he intentionally crashed his locomotive at high speed near the USNS Mercy hospital ship in what seems to be a bizarre attempt to expose …
Hey Grandpa! I’m Up Here!
This is a neat idea. I hope they let him do it. It would certainly be a memorable way to see your loved ones as long as heights don’t freak you the hell out. Local tree service hoping to help people visit loved ones in facilities JL’s Tree Service wants to use its aerial lift …
How Fast Is That Doggie In The Window? How Long Have We Been ON His Tail?
I’m pretty sure everything about what happened here can be explained by four words. Read on and see if you can guess which ones. ‘I wish I could make this up’ | Man teaching his dog how to drive leads cops on high-speed chase According to the Washington State Patrol, Alberto Tito Alejandro, 51, of …
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Did Somebody Say McFired?
The good news is that a teenager thought this was a good idea. The bad news is that it’s one of the teenagers that’s old enough to vote. McDonald’s employee faked COVID-19 to get out of work, Hamilton police allege On Monday, police were tipped from Hamilton Public Health Services about an individual who allegedly …
Good Luck Coughing Up All That Bail Money
I don’t really believe in hell, but if the mental health evaluation that Margaret Cirko was sent for after this shit doesn’t find something she can be helped with, I hope there’s a special place there for her if I’m wrong. The 35-year-old has been charged with multiple felonies and misdemeanors after she claimed to …
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