That’ll Leave A Mark

Last Updated on: 19th March 2014, 11:10 am

This comes from
the Reuters news service.

LONDON (Reuters) – A British woman was sentenced to two and a half years in jail Thursday for ripping off her ex-lover’s testicle with her bare hands during a drunken brawl after he refused her sex.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage in May last year after Geoffrey Jones, 37, who had ended their long-term relationship, rejected her advances.

She grabbed him by the genitals, tearing off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth before a friend of Jones handed it back to him saying “that’s yours.”

Monti, of Birkenhead, near Liverpool, pleaded guilty to unlawful wounding at an earlier hearing.

Maybe it’s just me, but a few things strike me as kind of odd about this story.

First of all, is it really that easy to pull off a testicle? No, none of you have to try. But seriously, I didn’t know those things could just pop off. And even if they do, she’d still have to get it out of the bag so that she could put it in her mouth. So I’m thinking that she either gave a really big yank, or that this story is a really big fake. If anybody out there reading this knows otherwise, feel free to let me know, I’m interested.

Secondly, what was the guy’s friend doing there, and was it really necessary for him to tell this poor bastard that the testicle was his? I’m pretty sure he’s well aware of that fact. Come on, who else’s could it possibly be, unless this woman has a history of stashing man marbles in her mouth and when the friend got it back, he got a few others at the same time? But even then there would have to be some sort of a match the testicle analysis going on unless for some reason the friend had a very specific knowledge of what his buddy’s nuts looked like from the inside, and that would just be weird.

My hoax radar is going off big time here, this whole thing just doesn’t seem right to me. but it is true that truth is stranger than fiction so I suppose anything is possible. The truth is out there, and for some reason, I kind of want to find it.

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