Last Updated on: 4th March 2014, 10:36 am

So I have just returned from lunch and on this particular occasion it was time for something new – and since it’s not just new for me but is actually new for the world – I thought I would review it for you here so that you may base your opinions moving forward solely on what I thought of this product. I’m still campagning that that be how the world works. Moving along we get to today’s subject.


So we’ve all seen the commercials (unless you have a life and don’t watch as much tv as me) where Burger King advertises their new burgers – Stackers – which can come with 2, 3 or 4 patties. Good enough idea I guess.

So lately it’s been my goal to try and eat, at least a little bit, better than I have been and results have been good as I’ve lost a nice little chunk of weight in the last few months. Now that’s not to say I’ve cut out fast food altogether (I’m only human) and I had a weekend out of town where I ate a lot of crap this weekend so I really shouldn’t have been doing it again today – but I was talked in to Burger King – and then in to sampling the quad as I’m a fan of oversized food, as I know some of our readers are. (I’m looking at you Steve, Jon and Lu).

So despite not having had one since the mini-diet started my favourite burger is the Wendy’s Classic Triple – so I’ll pretty much stack (see what I did there, sith the Stacker) this one up against that. Since I have yet to see a burger with 5 patties on it (and I’d like to) I will use the not-yet-famous 5 patty grading system. 5 patties being good, 1 patty being for little girls.

We’ll start where we always should when talking about food. Taste. You can have a 37 pattied burger but if it tastes like Steve’s burnt pubic hair it’s really all for not.

We’re gonna give the Stacker Quad 4 patties out of 5. It was indeed quite tastey. But really no different at all than any of their other burgers. That’s not necessarily a bad thing since they make a good burger and this was no worse – but if you’re gonna throw that kind of advertising behind your new huge burger – you might want to add a little spice or something to it.

Presentation. No Patties out of 5. Ya this one will hurt you. I give it this rating because when I opened the wrapping, it appeared there really were no patties on this thing. Just 4 patties thick of CHEEEEEEEESE. Upon closer investigation I discovered that there were indeed patties there, just covered in so much cheese that the patties were hidden and I wondered if I’d ever crap again if I ate it. It just looked far too sloppy and messy whereas the Wendy’s Classic Triple has a nice clean appearance to it. (which I’ll admit starts to fade as you start to power through it.

Size: Despite what your girlfriend has told you, size matters. Especially when we’re talking about my burger. While there indeed were 4 patties on the burger, they were not Burger Kings Whopper patties. They were small standard fast food patties. When you order a Classic Triple from Wendy’s you get 3 square patties (because they don’t cut corners… get it?) and they are quite large. So, while Wendy’s has one less patty, I certainly felt like I get more food out of their burger without the shame of having to tell my friends “it takes 4 patties to satisfy my fat ass.” That’s a big plus in my book.

Finally, Bang for your Buck. 3 Patties out of 5. To get the Wendy’s Classic Triple combo with fries and a drink costs you $8.04. Sure that’s expensive for fast food but you get what you pay for. To get the Burger King Stacker Quad combo with fries and a drink (which I above deemed to be the smaller burger) costs you $8.49. So sure it’s only 45 cents more – but it’s still a valid point if you’re actually getting less meat.

So in closing – while I was not dissapointed with the burger in and of itself, when stacked up against the competition it was not enough to win me over as my new favourite artery busting burger.

Eat accordingly, friends.

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