The Short Circuit Isn’t On The Board.

Last Updated on: 14th January 2016, 08:46 am

A girl walks into an airport with what looks like a circuitboard and thinks it will be perceived as art? Ok then. How stupid is she? Surprisingly, she’s smart enough to be an MIT student in electrical engineering. But something obviously isn’t wired up right in her brain.

Star Simpson, 19, wandered into Logan International Airport in Boston to pick up her boyfriend. But she decided she would look cool if she came in wearing a black hoodie with a circuit board and 9 lights attached, and clutching a handful of play-Doh. Can you see any problems there, chief?

The police sure did, and had she not followed their instructions, no neurons would be firing in her brain anymore. But she’s lucky to be alive, locked up and charged with possessing a hoax bomb device. And she didn’t even have enough brains to just plead guilty and be done with it. How do you plead not guilty on charges of having a hoax bomb when you’re arrested for wearing wires? If it wasn’t a hoax, was it real?

In what realm does wearing a wire-covered hoodie qualify as art anyway? Even if she somehow managed to not hear about September 11 2001, Richard Reid trying to light his shoe, liquid explosives, and all the other terrorist events, how did she miss the lecture about not talking, joking, or even insinuating anything about bombs near an airport, let alone wearing a fake one? I’ve known ever since I was little that airports are understandably twitchy about anything that may have the potential to go boom. So where has she been? Well, if she gets charged, we know where she could be for the next five years. She’ll be showing off the art of a striped uniform from inside prison gates.

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