Why Can’t We BE Friends?

Last Updated on: 25th February 2015, 05:19 pm

Jesus, what’s with people fighting at weddings? It all started with a missing camera and ended up with 100 people fighting, 30 police on scene, 2 people stabbed and one guy punched in the face, and 3 arrests. Holy shit. Can’t we all just get along? Smacking the piss out of each other won’t make the camera reappear.

In other news, I saw two other weddings with drunkenness and violence in them. I didn’t think they were quite funny enough on their own, but they can now get lumped in with this one. We have Nicholas Morrison, who tried to start fights with guests and threw stuff, and then we have the poor, unfortunate Tommie Johnson who got clobbered by his own mother and sister before his wedding, so couldn’t get married that night. How horrible that he lived on Blarney Stone Avenue and still had such bad luck. Maybe his luck will improve after his family forced him to kiss the street.

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