Uh, um, what? There’s a man out there who….*tries to stop laughing* who…*cackles* can’t tell the difference between…*doubles over howling* a flying saucer and…hahahahahahahaha…*snort* the moon! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! I bet he felt stupid after his call was held up as an example of the kind of call that 999 doesn’t need to take. If he didn’t, …
Monthly Archives: July 2008
The Parking Attendant Must Have Been Unconscious Too!
In England, a woman was driving along and began to feel dizzy, so she pulled over so she wouldn’t crash if she lost consciousness. She did lose consciousness, and when she woke up, she found she’d been given a parking ticket. She was clearly visible, sprawled at the wheel, but all the guy did was …
Continue reading “The Parking Attendant Must Have Been Unconscious Too!”
So Who’s Lost His Head?
You know something is amiss when a man is decapitated in a car accident, a police captain takes the hub caps and floor mats and claims the owner of the car, ya know, the headless one, gave him permission, and an internal hearing agrees with him. Yeah, ok. Finally a court saw sense and sentenced …
Scary Stuff And Doggy Frustrations
Yesterday, I got some surprising news. It came in a strange way. I’m on a guide dog mailing list, and a puppy raiser was describing the new puppy she got and naming off his littermates. One of them was the same name as a dog given to one of my classmates! People are probably thinking, …
He’s Going Crazy, Is He?
Waaaa waaaa waaa, Josef Fritzl, go ahead and cry that you need exercise and time out of your cell. I think they should grant your request for exercise by bringing a treadmill into your cell and leashing you to it. There, Josef, you got your goddamn exercise. Ya happy now? Oooo, I feel some serious …
Political Correctness Is Flying Blind
Hmmm. I think political correctness needs a straightjacket. In Britain, if you are interested in a position as an air traffic controller, feel free to ask for the application in braille. They’ll have to give it to you, only to have you fail out when it’s time for the medical exam. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! When …
I Wonder If There’s A Clue In His Name
Wow, Gregory Smallwood has issues. I guess he was trying to have sex with a woman, but she kept falling asleep, so he tried to set fire to her and her van. Maybe she was falling asleep because he woke her up at 4 in the morning. Or…maybe he had small wood.
>You’re Healed!…Or Maybe Just Hurt Differently
>Wow. There’s a faith healer out there that even pentecostals aren’t a fan of. I can see why they’re a bit disturbed by todd Bentley, by these two sentences alone. Critics circulate a YouTube video from Lakeland of him kneeing a supposed terminal stomach cancer patient in the abdomen, saying God told him to. In …
Continue reading “>You’re Healed!…Or Maybe Just Hurt Differently”
>I Want Your Socks
>Why, oh why, oh why does James Dowdy love stealing womens’ socks so much that he goes to jail for it? Repeatedly? I just don’t understand. Why doesn’t he just buy a couple pairs and be done with it?
Would You Like Fries With That?
Gees, we’re really dealing with a classy bunch. We have the Castellanos family, who came into the Paul Bunyan restaurant, and the burger he got seemed to be underdone and cold. When he asked for things to be fixed, he says the staff were rude, but they claim they were willing to reheat the burger, …