Everybody Loves A Happy Ending

Last Updated on: 18th February 2020, 07:17 am

Theredneckingest story in a long long time,the one about the Kentucky woman who’s trailer home was destroyed by a combination of an incompetent mover named Pancake and a stereotypical small town sheriff, has a happy ending.

Donations from California billionaire Tim Blixseth and some other anonymous benefactors havepaid for a new single-wide mobile home for her and her family.

But don’t worry, the update still has its share of backwoods hick goodness.

She was really just hoping for something better when she moved her $5,000 home from a mobile home park to a littered, muddy patch of ground she calls the farm, between a steep cliff and a black-topped road not far from a creek.

“If that’s not a lot for a person to ask for,” she said, “I don’t know what is.”

My undying respect to anybody who can sort out what that quote means.

Her boyfriend’s mother lives across the way in a barn converted into an apartment. A few feet down the road one way is a home that burned but still stands unlivable and the other way a battered, single-wide with toys abandoned in the yard.

There’s room for her five horses, her cats, Satan and Mommy Cat, and her family.

If she was allowed to name her own kids, I might have an entirely separate post to write in a few minutes…

This house might be less crowded. Seven of the 12 people once living with Barton, including her daughter and granddaughter, have found other arrangements.

Might? I guess this is the point at which we learn that rudimentary math skills are neither necessary or important for well, anything really.

And finally there’s this. I’m glad nothing went wrong, but at the same time my love for irony is crying just a little bit over the lost opportunity.

Because the electricity has not been hooked up yet, she was determined to spend Wednesday night in her new home using kerosene heaters. David Doyle, fearing fire, said he told her it would be better to wait until the electricity is on before moving in.

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