Secret and Stolen Identities

Last Updated on: 4th May 2015, 12:19 pm

Oh boy. This story just keeps getting better and better. Can it get any more awesome?

First, there was the whole pistol-whipping of a customer at Goomba’s Pizzeria by the owner, then the revelation that the owner was a mobster, now the victim wasn’t being completely honest either. No, he wasn’t in the Witness-protection program, but he was trying to shield his identity. You see, he wasn’t really Richard Phinney. His name was Jack K. Kilburn Jr. and he was trying to avoid getting busted for not paying child support. And whose name did he use? That of his new wife’s former husband. Yeah, very smart, very very smart. Now he’s in jail, prosecutors are looking at filing identity theft charges, and he decided to sue the mobster dude on top of it, and he wasn’t honest with his civil lawyer either.

Can this story get any better? Well, there is the part where you get to listen to the mobster and his family whine about what damage this has done. Well, maybe he should have thought about that before unleashing a holy beating on a customer.

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