Trixie’s got The Gift Of The Gab

Last Updated on: 6th February 2023, 07:46 am

Trixie speaks.
Carin’s been doing a lot of talking about me, but I never get the keyboard. Now I’ve got it, and I’ve got stuff to say!

This winter, the guy in the sky wasn’t as mean as last winter. He didn’t keep dumping white stuff on us. He did keep making it really c c c c c cold, but I didn’t even need the fur for my fur as much. That’s just fine with me, I don’t really like it. I can stand it better than those awful shoes, but it keeps making me want to shake my fur back into place every few steps.

Plus, this year, the guy in the sky decided to turn the weather knob back to nice sooner…except for that time when we had weeks and weeks and weeks of nice, and then he dropped white stuff on us. Carin was mad mad mad, so I thought I’d fix it. I thought I could just eat it all and then we’d be all good. But she didn’t like that either. Some people, ya just can’t please ’em.

something weird happened to Carin back a while ago. She was taking me out to do my nighttime business…and then…she just stopped inside the door and stuff came out of her mouth! Stuff isn’t supposed to come out of her mouth, doesn’t she know? It looked like she’d already eaten and then the food got lost and came back up. We can get turned around, can food get turned around? Well this stuff sure did, and when it came back the other way, it was on the run! Some of it landed on her, some of it landed on me…on my face! In my eye! blink blink blink! On my leash! On the floor! On the Window! Wherever it could run, it ran there. Then she just stood there and got mad when I tried to eat it. She told me no! Ug but it’s all over me and she wasn’t cleaning it off! What’s a poor dog to do?

Then a nice man came over and…wipe wipe wiped me clean. he even had to wipe wipe wipe her clean because she hadn’t noticed that some of it had landed on her nose. come on! How could she not notice that was on her nose! I mean, I know she’s blind, but it was on her nose! Does her nose not work either?

Then she was sick for a while. all she did was feed me and take me out and go back to bed. She didn’t play, walk, do anything but drink stuff and lie there. Even when we started walking, she’d slip more on ice, even if we were going nice and slow! Once, she fell, oh how I hate to see her fall! She didn’t move and I had to go bug another human to help her get up so we could get home.

then the fat man’s food started getting lost and coming back up instead of going down, but at least his didn’t run to me. He got it to go swimming in the big bowl! Does Carin not know how to do that? I guess the fat man told her how to do that, because for the rest of the time she was sick, she did the same thing.

They kept saying that was a horrible flu. Now everybody’s talking about this swine flu. So whatever swine are, their food gets lost and comes running the other way? Weird. Does their food hit humans on the head and kill them and that’s why people are all worried about this swine flu? I wonder what a swine looks like so I can make sure I don’t get hit on the head by lost food.

Carin and the fat man replaced one of those things that they sit on when they watch that TV box. I don’t know what was wrong with the old one. It had little holes in it, but I thought those little holes were neat! But I guess they didn’t like them. We went into this big room full of things to sit in. There were so many things to sit in that there was no room to stand or walk! Does someone live here? How do they even move? Carin and the fat man sat in a few different things. then the next day, the guy who talked to us while we sat on things came and brought one of the things from the store! I had to check it and make sure it was the exact same thing. Did this arm smell like that other place? Yep. How about this one? Sure did. I had to smell it all over and see who had sat on it before. It was like the elevator. It had a story and I had to find out what it was!

Now it just smells like us. I wonder how long until it disappears and something else will come in with a new story to smell.

You know, for a while, those other humans that I met when we got off the flying car bus thing when I just came from California used to scare me. When they would show up, I’d wonder if I was going to move somewhere else. Now I realize they’re just people that Carin knows. There’s the one she calls dad who got a new hip who seems to be doing pretty well because he can move pretty fast and doesn’t need stick things or wheely things, and there’s the one who she calls mom who I like to come to in the mornings when we’re at the house with the cat and nudge her and ask her to pet me. When she stops, sometimes I give her another poke and she starts again. They love me so much. Now I get really happy when I se them. One time, they came to our place and I was so happy I ran and ran and ran around until I sat there puffing. I wonder when we’ll see them again.

I’ve seen lots of new dogs who wear harnesses like I do. There’s a girl who used to walk around with a big yellow dog who I thought was pretty cute stuff even though he was really really old. Well, I guess he got too old and he’s not with her anymore. She now has a cool new black lab who’s younger than me! Cool! Now I rank higher in the pack!

Then there’s another dog who I got to meet who was pretty much my same size. He came to visit us and he was with a lady, a guy, and a little girl. the little girl was scared that Carin and the other lady would get confused and mix me up with him. How is that possible? I’m a girl and he’s a boy! Can they not tell the difference?

And then there’s another dog in town. I still think she’s cool…but I think I’ll keep an eye on her. I’ll get to that later. She’s about my size and we sometimes wiggle noses when we meet…until we get caught. I hear talk that we might get together for some kind of party. What’s a party?

Something’s going on with the lady and the man who live downstairs. One time, we came into their house, and the couch thing Carin always sits on was gone! Now there’s a little bed inside a bunch of bars there. Who could sleep in that little bed? I don’t think the lady or the man could fit in there…and why do they need the bars? Is someone trying to get out?

There’s something going on with the lady. Her belly smells funny. She never smelled like that before, and her belly is getting bigger, bigger and bigger and bigger! When I’m off duty, I love to run up to her and sniff sniff sniff right at her belly. It’s so interesting. One time, Carin and the lady went to this weird room that kind of smelled like my vet’s place only without the smells of doggies and kitties and all that. The lady lay on a table and they put this goo on her belly and were moving this thing around. Then there were these big woosh! woosh! woosh noises coming from over there! Something is woosh woosh wooshing in there? I’m very scared. It sounds big and loud and weird! I can’t quite figure out what I’m sniffing. I’m just going to have to keep trying.

You know, I like most dogs I meet, but there are a few that I just can’t stand. Back a while ago, we went to visit another house for a little while. They had this wee wee wee wee tiny dog. I thought wel, that dog can’t jump on me and go up and down, up and down. It can’t be that bad. Oh oh no, how wrong I was.

That dog chased me, and chased me, and chased me some more. I would lie down and there she’d be, running over to me. I’d have to get up again, and run around, and around, and around again! and again! and again! does this thing ever sleep? Is she a dog?

Then I noticed her teeth. They were sharp sharp sharp and she liked to chew on things. She tried to chew on Carin! No! Even I know Carin’s not for chewing! Was I this bad as a puppy?

Then I didn’t see her for a while. But not too long ago, we went to visit that other house where we’ve been before. That guy I really like comes there too. Not the one I see all the time, but the other guy. I think he’s the fat man’s brother. Anyway, we were there, and we all went over to another house. As we came to the door, I heard a familiar “roofroofroof roof! Roof! Roof!” I think it was that wee puppy.

but no! She wasn’t wee anymore! She had gotten bigger. She was still smaller than me, but she was all legs! Nooo! More legs means more running! And at this house Carin kept me on the leash! I knew right then that I had to set some GR’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’ROUND! R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’RULES! Dog, leave me alone R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’RIGHT! now! Don’t come any closer’r’r’r’r’r’r’r. Do I make myself CLEAR’R’R’R’R’R’R’R’R? But it would still bark and try to bug me. Luckily, the humans that came with her put her on a leash and that was that.

I saw another dog there and it made me sad. He was this big white dog. We both shared a fear of thunder storms. I met him last year and we both went shakepuff shakepuff shakepuff when the sky went flash boom flash boom flash boom. But now, he can hardly move on his own. The fat mans’ brother had to help him get outside so he could do his business. They say he’s really old and that’s why he’s like that. I don’t want to get old. I don’t want to not be able to move on my own.

But back to that other dog. The next week, we went to her house! All weekend, I tried to tell her to get away. As long as she was across the room, I didn’t care, but if she got too close, I would puff up. I would bark, growl, everything that said leave me alone. But she never learned! Some dogs don’t take no for an answer!

that weekend was busy busy busy. We were back in one of those church things with benches and organs and strange things people did like standing up and then sitting down. What’s the point of standing up if you’re not going to walk somewhere? But I’ve accepted that if you’re in one of those places with benches, that’s just what you do. When Carin stands up, I just lie down. I know I’m not going anywhere until she says so.

So I guess you go to these places with benches for happy and sad things. This was a happy thing, a wedding. I didn’t se the fat man at first when we got there. I didn’t know where he had gone. That was weird! But then, there he was, all dressed up in funny clothes. He walked with a bunch of other guys and girls and the little kids with flowers and other little kids with rings. I wonder why the fat man was up there and Carin wasn’t. Oh well, I have to accept that there are some things I just dont’ understand.

After we were done standing up and sitting down, some more fun happened. We got in this car with this other lady and man that we’d met before and went to their house. There was another dog there! But he was much nicer to me than the puppy. He knew how to play nice. He liked to give me bones to play with, but if I didn’t take them, he’d take them back. I can deal with that.

I soon learned that he was a guide dog too! Wow! Another guide dog! That was pretty fun. but I was glad to get back home after all that driving and staying away from puppies and all that stuff.

Remember back when I said I have to keep an eye on that other guide dog that I like to wiggle my nose at? Here’s why. One morning, Carin and I went outside to meet someone. It was that guide dog and the lady she’s always with! I was sooo excited! Where could we possibly be going together? She was sooo excited too. We got in this big car thing where there was lots of room and we drove for a little bit. Soon we got out. I’d never been here before.

When we first came inside, everything seemed ok, but soon, it all got really bad. They put lights in my eyes! They put drops in my eyes! They put more stuff in my eyes! Soon I couldn’t see where I was going! How was I supposed to do my job if I couldn’t see? What was going on! The last time this happened to me was whenI had just left the place where I’d been with the nice lady who sent me the bed when I got here! I’d just gotten back to that kennel place, and oh me oh my, they looked me all over, and this was part of it! Why was this happening again?

I couldn’t see all day. It was scary! but that other dog didn’t seem upset by this. She had to have known this was going on. If she didn’t, how could she be so relaxed? If she knew, why didn’t she warn me? I don’t know if I can trust her next time I see her.

But I can find comfort in something I’ve seen a few times. the humans have vets too! I mean, they call the place I go where they poke me and prod me and shine lights at me the vet, and I saw people poke and prod and shine lights at Carin, so it must be a vet. but the weird part is she doesn’t seem to mind. She doesn’t tell me to get away from these bad people. She just lets them do it! And she says I’m submissive. She’s the bigger wuss. At least I try and get away from there. Hmmm. Either she’s a wuss, or she’s dumb. She hasn’t figured out that these people are bad. Hmmm. I think I’d rather think she’s a big wuss. That’s the better choice.

This week’s been busy busy busy. We went to a place where there was lots and lots of people. there was another guide dog, but I didn’t get to meet him. I only got to watch him walk by, and I got to sniff where he’d peed.

Anyway, I think Carin called it a conference. We sat at tables and people talked to us. Then we’d walk to another room and sit and people would talk. But at one point we didn’t sit. We stood in front of everyone and Carin and this other lady talked! I wonder what they talked about. They’d talk and type and the computer would talk really loud from these big speakers across the room. I guess people liked it, they made that clap clap clap noise with their hands when they were done.

Hmmm. I think I’ve run out of things to say. Maybe I’ll go chew on a bone now.

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