I’m Your Venus

Last Updated on: 21st October 2013, 03:34 pm

Speaking as a man, I must say that it’s always nice when I can put women in a post like this. It really shows that as much as we like to spend time pointing out our differences, deep down we’re all the same. The exact, batshit crazy same.

Venus Lewisis facing 3 counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition and battery after spending a bit too much time thinking of the children, specifically a few teenaged, football playing ones.

According to the police report, Lewis was at the E.D. Croskey Recreation Center. She began chasing two league football players, both under 16 years old. She told them she would catch them and then have sex with them.

She then walked between two picnic tables, pulled her pants down in front of both boys and inserted a tampon. The boys told police they looked away.

Lewis also laid on a picnic table and began masturbating in front of the boys. Ocala police said Lewis was intoxicated.

At some point, Lewis also attempted to grab the genitalia of another boy.

Not surprisingly, Lewis has 9 previous arrests including at least one open container violation, which I assume is the standard alcohol in public reference and not a clever euphemism for exposed vagina.

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