Those Aren’t Yeast Infection Treatment Tablets!

Last Updated on: 25th January 2020, 07:32 am

Elizabeth Athenia Progris
Ok. First we had Nicholas my ass is an ATM Harris, and now we have Elizabeth my crotch is a pill-dispenser Progris. These two cases are so similar that I have to wonder if the two people knew each other.

Before being booked, Progris told investigators she had nothing illegal or not allowed in jail on her. A detective told her if she had such items, she could be charged. Progris, of the 800 block of Northwest 11th Trail in Stuart, said she understood and had nothing.

After Progris was booked, a deputy escorted her to the shower area. Progris showered and was drying off when a deputy noticed a clear bag drop “from her genital area to the floor by her feet.”

The deputy got the bag and saw several pills, which later were identified as generic Xanax.

Progris faces felony charges of possession of a controlled substance and introduction of contraband in connection with the incident.

The affidavit didn’t specify whether Progris simply forgot the pills were in her genital area, or how they got there.

Forgot? I dunno. If I have something just hangin’ out in my parts, I’m gonna know it’s there. That crap you hear on ads about you forgetting you’re wearing a tampon? Bullshit! You remember.

So yeah. Two cases of people just keeping things in orifices on their bodies in a week. Weird!

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