The Dead Art Of Nicknaming

Last Updated on: 17th July 2023, 06:47 pm

Nicknaming is definitely a lost art. I think everybody other than those in charge of nicknaming people knows that. The stuff that passes for good nicknames now is pretty lame, usually consisting of little more than letter from your first name-2 or 3 letters from your last name. Most of the time I just try to ignore this fact and never use the stupid name, but sometimes I can’t help but get annoyed, like in the case of the UFC’s Kenny Florian. He walks around calling himself “KenFlo.” Seriously, he does. Every time he fights, he’s introduced as Kenny “KenFlo” Florian. How do you take a guy seriously with a nickname like that? When I hear “KenFlo” I don’t think scary man about to lay a whooping on somebody, I think why the fuck did this guy name himself after a toilet? Honestly, KenFlo sounds like a brand of household appliance, not somebody who will ever be a champion at anything…well, at least not anything besides having a shitty nickname.

All of this just to get to the point that old nicknames were better. It isn’t hard to be better than “KenFlo”, but some went above and beyond the call of duty to be awesome. Here are 11 good ones from the world of baseball. Pretty sure my favourites are Bob “Death to Flying Things” Ferguson, Burleigh “Ol’ Stubblebeard” Grimes and of course, Hugh “Losing Pitcher” Mulcahy. I vote we bring that last one back and stick it on A.J. Burnett.

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