Molson Canadian: Made From No Thanks

Is it just me, or do the Molson Canadian commercials that have been on for a while now make you want to blarf?

What’s with that slogan? “Made from Canada”? That sounds…terrifying. It’s even more terrifying than getting stuck drinking Canadian because you’re at somebody’s place and you’re not wanting to be a prick to a person offering you a free beer. It’s better than Coors, but that’s like choosing between having your nuts stepped on by a work boot or a spiked heel.

But back to the point. Do you really want to drink a beer made from Canada? I love Canada don’t get me wrong, but lots of things make up Canada, and many of them aren’t likely to fall into the ingestibles category on Jeopardy.

“Mmm, the woman drooling on herself flavour really shines through nicely in this bottle, and it’s got just enough guy who rubbed his junk against my left leg on the bus last Thursday to balance out the mix.”

And what the hell’s up with the line about “the land we let loose on”? I think the intent was to conjure up the image of Canadians out camping and enjoying nature, but when I hear that sentence I think of some dude taking a leak against a tree. Then again, given how the stuff tastes, maybe they’re on to something.

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