Sir, That’s Not A Traytable. Please Take It Out Of The Upright Position

Last Updated on: 2nd November 2015, 01:17 pm

Update: Pearce has plead guilty to a misdemeanor and will be sentenced August 19th. He’s currently free on $25000 bond and has already been ordered to undergo a mental evaluation and get counseling as conditions attached to that freedom.

Air travel can at times be a stressful, boring experience. But there are better ways to get through it than pulling…er…so to speak, a Kyle Pearce. Bring a book. Listen to some music. Write something. Almost anything but playing with your carry-on bag until you spill a few ounces of dangerous liquids on the seat.

As detailed by Daniel, an 18-year-old woman told investigators that she was seated in row 18 next to Pearce, who was in an aisle seat. “I sat next to a man on a plane who was masterbating [sic]. I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis,” the teenager recalled in a written statement. She added, “He ejaculated & got some on the seat. Then he went to the bathroom for a long time.”

A passenger seated directly behind Pearce, 18-year-old Grayson Miller, recalled that, “My friend Zach turned to me and said, ‘That man is masturbating’ and in disbelief, I looked and saw his penis and he was.” In his written statement, Miller reported that, “I hit him with my book in the arm, which caused him to stop and leave to the bathroom” in the Airbus A319.

If convicted of the indecency charges he now faces, Pearce is looking at a maximum of 90 days in jail, $5000 in fines and a year of supervised release.

Supervised release? Isn’t that how he got himself into trouble in the first place?

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