Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza: The Kind Of Thing Hell Is Made Out Of

Last Updated on: 23rd June 2014, 03:46 pm

I heard about this last week and have been trying to keep myself from machine gunning harf pellets out my mouth and nose ever since.

Pizza Hut is unleashing a horrid sounding concoction on the people of the United Kingdom. People who, aside from being responsible for some astoundingly head slappingly ridoncubonk health and safety regulations, have to my knowledge done nothing to deserve it. Speaking of those crazy health and safety folks, where are they now when the citizenry could truly use them to prevent the disaster that is the new Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza?

Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza. Why?
“Succulent hot dog sausage bursting from our famous stuffed crust, with a FREE Mustard Drizzle” is how Pizza Hut is choosing to spin this culinary atrocity into sounding remotely food-like. They had me at Suck, but they lost me with this ulent business.

There are no plans currently to sell this in North America, which is honestly a surprise considering the kinds of things we’ll put in our bodies for a price. But if you are in the UK and want to give it a go, A: it’s been lovely knowing you and B: it only seems to come in one size, 14 inches. I’m sure some of you have dreamed of having a 14-inch hot dog in your mouth, but this certainly won’t be like you imagined it.

Ok, I need to go now. I can feel the machine gun starting to reload.

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