Stop The Presses! Some Blind People Got Married!

You’re not gonna believe this, you guys! Apparently, and this is seriously insane, blind people meet, date, fall in love and get married even though they have little to know idea what the person they’re with looks like! Really, I shit you not! check it out, it’s in the news! That’s right, the news! Somebody’s paying attention, and I guess this means there’s hope for the rest of us! It’s in the paper! Extra extra, read all about it…blind people are able to experience regular human emotions, just without vision and stuff! Because you know, the entire world lives and dies based on what we’re able to look at with only our eyes…er something. Thank you for bringing this amazing concept to my attention, media! I’m so glad there’s nothing else going on in the world of any kind of importance, otherwise you would have used your resources elsewhere and I would never have known that a blind couple in Texas got married…to each other! And they can’t see! And they’re too stupid to understand that this matters! And that’s cute! And inspirational! And…oh, get fucked, morons!

SAN ANTONIO, Texas — It may not have been love at first sight for Jessie and Velia but they did see their future come together Friday.

How about that! A line about how these people can’t see, but in a deeper way they can see. That’s different.

The couple met at San Antonio Lighthouse for the Blind.

“Velia is totally blind; Jesse has very little eyesight in one eye,” said Nancy Lipton of Lighthouse for the Blind.

Pardon my ignorance, but who cares?

All that’s missing here is the pondering of how they get around if they’re so afflicted.

This is the Lighthouse for the Blind’s first wedding in their 80-year history.

this is likely because most people, be they blind, sighted, crippled or whatever, don’t want to get married in their fucking office.

They see the people they work with as their friends and family, so they wanted to have the wedding at the place they met and work.

To each their own, as long as it wasn’t decided for them. this reporter sure is spending a lot of time talking to a person about the blind people’s wants and needs. At least it’s an accurate representation of what far too often happens to us when dealing with the public.

So…can we hear from the blind people?

Velia said she doesn’t think about what Jessie looks like.

“To me it really doesn’t make a difference what he looks like or not. It’s just the way he treats me, that’s what’s important to me,” says Velia.

That should put an end to the whole story, shouldn’t it? I don’t know this lady, but that quote just screams listen, idiot. All I want out of life is to be treated nicely by somebody I care about, as we all should. Stop talking about my goddamned eyes.

Nancy said, “When they look at each other and take care of each other, it’s the heart that brought them together. Not the looks or anything else.”


So what, if anything, have we learned from this ever so fascinating and groundbreaking piece of journalism? I can think of two things:
1. Even the simplest and most natural of activities is somehow more inspirational when a disabled person does it. We don’t just get married, we beat the odds and overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
2. If you don’t want to be shallow and obsessed with looks, blind yourself. You will be forced to look beyond the surface. It’s a special skill one can only possess through the loss of another ability.

This article is useless and awful. If I were the editor who green lit it, I’d fire myself.

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  1. You know what I focused on? She said,”To me it really doesn’t make a difference what he looks like or not.” Or not? He doesn’t look like anything? Hmmm. You know, the writer could have edited that out. You don’t absolutely have to quote a person absolutely word for word. That was at the end of the quote. Just cut that out. You know she probably didn’t mean to say that and she’s gonna read that and go oh crap I said that.

    1. Wow. With everything else going so wrong in the story, I totally missed that. I blame the cold.

      But as for quoting somebody word for word, I think there are seriously style guides that suggest you do it that way, even if it makes the person sound dumb. I see why, but I feel for these poor blind people. they’re already subjected to a stupid newspaper article, and now the wife sounds like she’s marrying the invisible man.

  2. So hang on waitasec. You mean to tell me, you and Carin weren’t the actual first, like, ever blind couple, like ever? Really? False bloody advertising, W Ross! You’re all fired. Now. Where was I?

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