You Live By The Cane, You Die By The Taser

Last Updated on: 18th May 2017, 10:43 am

I’ve never had the chance to hold a samurai sword, but if that day should ever come, I imagine there is little to no chance of me confusing it for my white cane.

The previous sentence is part of the cover letter I’m writing to attach to my application for a job as a member of the Lancashire Police force. I like my odds of being selected, unless they decide I’m over-qualified.

Mr Williams said police had “received a number of reports that a man was walking through Chorley armed with a samurai sword”.

“A description of the offender was circulated to officers and patrols were sent to look for the man,” he said.

“One of the officers who arrived in Chorley believed he had located the offender.

“Despite asking the man to stop, he failed to do so and the officer discharged his Taser.”

Mr Williams said it “became apparent that this man was not the person we were looking for and officers attended to him straight away”, taking him to Chorley Hospital.

He added that the force “deeply regrets what has happened”.

“We have clearly put this man through a traumatic experience and we are extremely sorry for that,” he said.

“We have launched an urgent investigation to understand what lessons can be learned.”

Lesson 1:

white cane
white cane

Samurai sword
Samurai sword

Police did eventually locate a drunk guy walking around with a sword and arrested him. Rumour has it he was immediately taken to the RNIB offices for questioning.

The officer who tased the innocent blind guy who did nothing more than dare walk to the pub to meet some friends has had his Taser taken away, though rumour has it they actually took a broom from his house by mistake.

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