Usually You Sleep With The Fishes, Not Get Woken Up By Them

So here I am, in a house. I’ve taken some money. I’ve had some food. What to do now? Hmmm. Must think of something. Leaving would be smart, but it feels too obvious. I need something different. Something exciting. Something…unexpected. I know! I’ll slap this sleeping guy with a fish. Come on, who would see that coming? Certainly not him.

Investigators said the Nykoping man, who is in his 60s, called authorities to report he was awakened from a nap by a slap across the face from a woman wielding a mackerel, The reported Monday.
The man also alleged the woman stole $310 from him and took food from his refrigerator.

It wasn’t noted if any of the pilfered food items happened to be a soon to be weaponized fish. What was noted, however, is that the man and the woman are known to each other. the brief comment from Mikael Larsson speaking on behalf of the Nykoping police seems to suggest that the fishticuffs (Did I really just write that?) may have stemmed from an on again off again relationship that appears to have been off again.

Police have launched an assault investigation, but so far no charges have been laid.

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