Oil Of Ooooooooooooolay

If you have an admirer and that admirer sends you a bottle of cream as a gift, do yourself a favour and check that thing over good and thorough because while yes it’s cream, it might not be the sort of cream you think it is.

That, disgustingly, is exactly what happened to 19-year-old Zeng Lin, who received what she thought was face cream from 22-year-old Gou Wen who’s name my screenreader pronounces as “Goo When”, which almost had me laughing too hard to finish this. It wasn’t until she had rubbed most of it on herself and complained to her roommate that it didn’t smell quite right that she discovered that what she was using wasn’t face cream, but rather just some very forward wishful thinking on the part of Mr. Wen.

So why did Gou do this? For love, of course.

“I love her so much but she didn’t know it and I didn’t know how to tell her,” he said. “So I did that thinking it was the ultimate way to show love.”

Valentine’s Day at this guy’s house must be a riot.

He was ordered to pay $300 in damages and has apologized, saying that he understands now that what he did was wrong. He also says that he’s still determined to win Zeng’s heart. In other words, if she gets a box of what looks like chocolates, she might want to think twice.

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